Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Daily Journal, Humor

Drama (Queen)

I swallowed a bug.

That is a bit of a misnomer. It’s more like I inhaled a bug. I can feel it crawling around in my alveoli. Well more likely flailing around in the sticky gumbo, like some world war one trench fighter, slowly succumbing to the undertow of muck that coats the inside of my lung. I can feel its death rattle though… and its upsetting me. Die already you damn hexapod.

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This caps off my all round awesome day… the pinnacle of which involved  wrestling a half decomposed rat away from the Basset Hound before he could eat it. It came apart while we grappled for ownership of said rodent… after which I had to pry his jaws open with my fingers to extract the other half before he gulp-gulp-swallowed.

This is still better than the dead and disgustingly bloated toad he tried eat once. But not worse than the time he found human feces in the park… and rolled in it. That was truly a vomit inducing affair.

I felt I needed to share the (psychological) trauma that comes with owning a Basset Hound. Personally I wouldn’t suggest it.

8 Comments

  1. tara caribou

    March 8, 2019 at 6:42 am

    ohmyfuckinggod that’s disgusting. Your basset just dropped a few notches in my book (for the human poo incident…. I can forgive delicious rotting carcass delicacies).

    1. Jo

      March 8, 2019 at 7:01 am

      Yeah. He’s a savage. There’s actually no hope for him.

      1. tara caribou

        March 8, 2019 at 8:41 am

        I may have disowned him right then and there with the poo. Too much. Just…. too… much.

      2. tara caribou

        March 8, 2019 at 8:41 am

        But wait…. he gave you the safe-eyes didn’t he??? 🥺

      3. Jo

        March 8, 2019 at 9:16 am

        Yuuup 🙂

      4. tara caribou

        March 8, 2019 at 9:30 am

        I knew it! Damn our weakness for soft eyes!!

      5. Jo

        March 8, 2019 at 10:39 am

        And boobs! Wait… you might not have that problem. Nevermind.

      6. tara caribou

        March 8, 2019 at 10:40 am

        Maybe, maybe not 😉😳😆

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