Project : Yeard

Kratos, when he hears about your plan to grow out your beard

15.01.2019 – I’ve decided to grow a… Yeard. Which is apparently jargon for a years worth of beard growth. It might only end up being a half-yeard. Depending on how irritated I get. Apparently its something every guy should do at least once in his life.

01.03.2019 – Looking very scruffy, but gotten past the terrible itchy phase. I have however taken a trimmer to my whiskers in order to get this burgeoning neck-beard under control. Not sure I’ve done a very good job. Difficult to judge symmetry yourself. In any event, it is what it is.

14.03.2019 – Can’t believe how gray I’ve gotten. Methuselah be thy name. More or less the three month mark.

27.03.2019 – Finally decided to go to the barber and get a proper trim and a straight razor head shave (always nice)

Me. Post trim. Beard power.

I’ve decided I want to be a barber when I grow up. All they seem to do is smoke copious amounts of marijuana, listen to heavy metal and talk shit all day (about becoming marijuana farmers). This seems like a most excellent profession (the barber I mean), less convinced about growing dope for a living.

There are some things you don’t necessarily want to hear your barber saying before taking a straight razor to your melon though. ‘Dude, I am so blazed’, is definitely among them.

29.03.2019 – ‘You’re like the monster from Stranger Things now’, my wife at breakfast. Wait… What? ‘In terms of tentacles… your beard is like that monsters face’. I try look offended… it’s diffict since I have bits of runny sunny side up all over my face… I concede the point and reach for a napkin. Eating certain foods is definitely… eh… more challenging these days