You know in 1984 when Winston is tortured with his biggest fear? Having something crawl into my ear canal and lay its eggs there is definitely mine. Okay, top five at the very least…. because I just imagined something crawling up my urethra and laying its eggs. Seriously, you don’t really even have to torture me, I’ll tell you anything you want to know (for a cheeseburger).
Okay, off to dip my junk in a complex mixture of antiseptic and turpentine. Gotta be sure.