A bridge too far

Donald Trump and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez are hanging off a bridge by their fingertips. Which one would you save?

I’m going to avoid trite and glib answers. As you might imagine I don’t really like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Nor Donald Trump. Neither of them though look like they have the upper body strength to haul themselves back over the side of the bridge though. And I assume if you save the one the other would fall, in the classic sense of this trolley-esque conundrum where you have to make these sort of life and death decisions. No, I’m not going to get a sandwich, I’m not a psychopath. Even if I am a little peckish. Just to be clear… what kinda sandwich is it?

After a brief moment of consideration I’m going to have to try and save Alexandria. I am more confident in my ability to haul her carcass back over the side and onto the asphalt. Sorry DT, but your girth has doomed you to… I was going to say terminal velocity… but I suppose the bridge would have to be pretty darn high for someone reach that before coming to an abrupt stop.

I mean if I think about it. There are some things me and AOC would likely agree on.

1. Immigration is broadly a good thing. (although we would likely quibble on the mechanics of allowing people to meander wherever they desire)
2.  The Department of Homeland Security is a grim and somewhat superfluous entity that should be disbanded.
3. The War on Drugs has been a complete and utter failure.
4. Mushrooms and psychedelics should be decriminalized.
5. The police are NOT supposed to look and act like the military.
6. Government should give not be giving tax credits to corporations. If you can’t make your business work without a handout… you probably shouldn’t be doing it.

I suppose there are some things me and DT would also agree on. (and some things I that I don’t actually mind giving him props for)

1. Obama was a fiscal lunatic who doubled the US debt from 10 trillion to 20 trillion. (admittedly you’re not doing a great job on this either guy)
2. Medicare etc (although I would add social security in its current form) is not sustainable and may eventually lead to the collapse of the free world.
3. He destroyed… severely crippled ISIS.
4. Hasn’t gone to war with Iran… eh… yet.
5. China is going to be very scary (although fighting this opening battle with tariffs is, imo is the incorrect tactic)
6. Tax cuts are good. (Unless you borrow money to make up the shortfall)

Damn. This actually makes it looks like I agree more with Alexandria. To be fair I wouldn’t let AOC near the cash box for a (licensed) lemonade stand never-mind the coffers of the Federation.

Also, I should probably add that I expect adulation from the masses for this self-less act. I will obviously try and be modest about my roll in this… outcome. Just know… that on the inside… I am dancing.