Jackassery

Spent my afternoon in the ER with the walking wounded. Some sports injuries. An allergic reaction to a bee-sting, a crazy old guy who kept bellowing on about wanting his gout-injection (for which he’d clearly been waiting too long for) and some guy who made his injured girlfriend stand while he sat.

I thought I’d broken my foot. And I kinda have. Well I have an avulsion fracture. Which is when a ligament rips a piece of bone off your foot. Usually when you twist it. In any event, I won’t get into the gory details… because they’re kinda embarrassing. I lied and told the nurse in Triage that I’d kicked a door trying to unstick it… which he thought was incredibly humorous and chortled to himself while he took my details.

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Managed to limp/hop back to my house from incident… but by the time I got there I was really hobbled by the pain and my foot had swollen up significantly and I could hardly walk. After icing it for an hour I decided something didn’t feel right and got the wife to drive me to the hospital.

I’ve broken my other foot before (in a grappling competition shooting in for a takedown), that time the bone was sticking out through the top of my foot and there was less ambiguity to whether it was actually broken or not. Three days in hospital and some pins fixed that up more or less okay.

Anyways, they don’t cast you up for an avulsion fracture. They just bandaged me up and offered me a moon-boot which I declined since I have one already I can use if I need it. The nurse asked me if the bandage was too tight to which I glibly remarked if I my toes started to redden and smell like almonds I would relieve the pressure. The doctor arched her eyebrow at me, why would it smell like almonds she asks me.

I glance her up and down, I guess she might be too young to appreciate quotes from Austin Powers…  She goes on to tell me that she ‘kinda likes the smell of almonds’. Medical professionals these days… certainly not the caliber of the gnarly old meat-technician (orthopaedic surgeon) who worked on me last time.

In any event, I’m back on crutches and have been booked off work until the 27th… which is hilarious… that I can afford to take time off I mean.

11 thoughts on “Jackassery

      1. It’s my own stupid fault. And I’m really paying for it now. Lol. Haven’t had anything stronger than a paracetamol in the last five years… but I’m in such agony right now… ha ha… cant sleep with this throbbing pain, wish now that I hadn’t been so gung-ho at the hospital and taken them up on their offer of serious drugs.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I use to work in a hospital and if you are miserable, call them. Most of the time they will call in a presciption for you. Don’t try to tough it out. It could actually feel worse before the pain eases up.

        Liked by 1 person

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