Burn it down

I am a little bit of nihilist when it comes to climate change and environmentalism. Mostly because that helps me sleep at night. Cultivating a sense that we are too far gone and totally fucked regardless of what changes we make RIGHT NOW makes me feel somehow less bad about existing. I mean if I really cared about the planet I would just kill myself. And so should you. The longer you stick around the more damage you do…

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So depending on what information source you consume, the Amazon rainforest is on fire in varying in degrees of dramatic verse, from third or forth circle of Dante’s inferno (basically wedged in between gluttony and greed) to calm down, only some of the amazon is on fire and its mostly the farms on the outskirts you lentil weaving wonks….

I have no idea what version of this is true. I’m a layman and I get the sense that this meant to herd me in some ideological direction. Although I do casually note that no one disputes that at least some of the rain forest is actually on fire. Although apparently this happens pretty much every year and the Brazilians are all like ‘Que Porra?’ because this year (for some inexplicable reason) people are upset about it.

I use the term upset about it quite loosely. You know because retweeting an article about the slash and burn agriculture gone wrong on a foreign continent while munching down on your Big Mac and fries doesn’t really feel super indignant or particularly… you know… behavior modifying.

So returning to coda, I’m loathed to kill myself… because… well… it would be super inconvenient for those people that actually kinda like me (Admittedly a figure in the single digits).  I do however like to feel a least a little smug and superior at times like this… because I RECYCLE. And I don’t litter. And… *thinks* don’t… eh… eat burgers… all… that… often. And I grow my own vegetables… that’s quite a big one… in the moral superiority arms race I mean… you apartment dwellers are the WORST!

And… yeah… that’s all I got. Snark.

Besides… if the Brazilians want to burn it all down… shouldn’t they be allowed to? I mean… I’m sure they wouldn’t mind some hard currency to pull the vast majority of their citizenry out of the mire of poverty and sell… free range beef and coffee and fucken soybeans to the wealthy nations of the world… so that they can buy iPhones and cars and shiny baubles. I feel kinda bad about not allowing them to experience the crushing weight of consumerism and how it sucks your will to live… I mean I don’t want to be selfish with my affluence-ordeal.

ON THE PLUS SIDE… don’t worry… Lungs of the world is a bit of misnomer… It’s A LOT less. We probably won’t even miss it. Phytoplankton does like 80% of the worlds oxygenation anyway… and the oceans are totally fine!

So really this is mostly a win.

  1. Poor people pulling themselves out poverty.
  2. Soybeans for China. Burger patties for America. Coffee for everyone else in a single use cup.

Ok the Jaguars and Tapirs won’t have anywhere to live anymore… but lets be honest they were never going to make it anyway. Rather pull this particular sticky plaster off quick than draw it out of over the next hundred years or so.

Obviously I have no real solutions other than warbling on satirically about stuff I only have a very cursory understanding of. I mean a Thanos-ian finger snap could help. As least in the short-term. Obviously if that finger-snap didn’t include me or anyone I cared about (this paragraph may require a vague sense of Marvel universalism).

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Lest I have I to dust off the ol’ compound bow and re-learn all my sword forms… and then go on a homicidal rampage. Clint Barton was always my favorite avenger. Even back when I only came haft height to Mjölnir.

Anyways. Herewith endeth my tirade. Mostly because I’m tired and I want to go to sleep now. Maybe I should end with an admission or at least some form of truism. The Amazon burning actually makes me really sad. But I’m going to compartmentalise and just carry on with my life and pretend everything is awesome.

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