Death-box

I have been very remiss in my stoicism of late. And while there are many facets to stoicism the one that I have been most tardy addressing is that of dying well.

Death box.jpg

I don’t necessarily want my death to be a messy, chaotic affair. It might well be… after all I don’t really get to be in full control over that particular event. What I can control however is the aftermath of my demise.

In lieu of this, I have created a Death-box(tm). Its less exciting (or indeed pandor(a)-ific) than it sounds. Its basically a black shoe box that will sit in my drawer at home waiting for that eventual moment to become useful.

It contains all the important ‘stuff’ that… well… someone else needs to wrap things up for me, all located in one convenient location.  At the top of the pile is a quick how-to-guide to access my trading account and close all my open positions. Trading futures… and then suddenly expiring… well… it could be REALLY bad. This needs to be done pretty quick post event… unless of course they are all doing amazing well (which they probably all will be because… well…. I’m dead)… in which case… *thinks* actually just close them.

While I plan on adding a map with the location of the treasure of the infamous pirate, One-eyed-Willy, I spent my weekend redoing my Last Will and Testament and getting that fine document in order first. That’s probably quite important… and it is/was horrifically out of date.

Also… while there is a fair amount of legalize… I did allow for at least some whimsy. (an element lacking in most wills and testaments I feel). Case in point…

 

On what should happen to my remains…

I wish to cremated. And then, if viable, have my ashes shot off into space. (preferably in a rocket capable of escaping gravity) but if not… I am happy to become orbital debris, a navigation hazard and otherwise deadly object to future spacefarers. Assuming this is not viable (or exorbitantly expensive, more than $1000.00)… cremate me and scatter me some place nice. I’m not picky. I am after all dead and unlikely to care what happens to my remains. Obviously, if the situation is thus that I am likely to be venerated or that my remains will become a focal point for pilgrims… then… do what you have to do. Statues or monoliths that need to be erected in such an event should not come from my estate by rather by some measure of crowd funding.

But first…

Please harvest and donate all my organs that are deemed still viable for transplant. Transplant only though, I do not want my body used for any scientific experimentation or learning. I feel weird about being sawed and hacked at by first year medical students.

 

My death is going to be awesome. Well for some.

9 thoughts on “Death-box

  1. Brilliant. I need to do up a death box. Maybe electronically, come hellfire or flood..
    What about putting your remains put into a tidy fertilizer pod to be planted at a base of a sapling? That is <$1000 I think, in case you're looking for options…

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    1. Hmmm. This gives me a notion. If I have accumulated some enemies by the time I go… in the dead of night I would like my ashes sprinkled over their vegetable garden. (Finding a nemesis that gardens might be the real challenge though). In any event, several months later they should get an anonymous whatsapp video depicting what incredible righteous redress has occurred.

      I chortle just thinking about it.

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      1. I worry about you. Ha ha ha. The way this works is that you are the voice of reason to my otherwise insidious machinations.

        And yes. You are a doctor and Canadian and therefore (supposedly) the zenith of reasonableness.

        Like

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