Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

13 rules for life

Rule #2

… for life.

If the office buys Pizza. There is a ten minute window from when the pizza is placed down on the counter top of the kitchenette to when people (and mostly I am referring to myself here) are allowed to start going back for seconds. The clock is ticking…

If you have drifted aimlessly towards the ambrosia after having dilly-dallied at your desk after the announcement is made you’re not allowed to be sad that there’s nothing left. (Also ignore the fact that Joey, by this stage, has his paws on the counter and is snuffling away at the crumbs of feta stuck to the cardboard like an aardvark in an anthill)


You are an uncommitted malingerer who deserves to go hungry.

In fact, this is probably a metaphor for your entire life. (and why you are where you are)

Also, your glacial approach to to the fulfilling your lower order Maslowvian needs speaks to an anti-Darwinian approach to life. I’d pencil in both those observations to talk to your therapist about. And then maybe mention it to your life coach while you’re at it.

Rule #1 of 13 can here found



  1. Clever Girl

    October 17, 2019 at 6:54 pm

    Hang on a second… who the fuck put the avocado on the pizza? I’m from California and even I wouldn’t do that. Pineapple yes, but avocado… hell no!! What’s wrong with you people? Don’t you see this is a travesty? SMH 🙂

    1. Jo

      October 21, 2019 at 5:41 am

      Really? You guys don’t put avocado on everything? I actually had no idea I was such a pariah. (you learn something new every day)

      It seems unlikely I’m going to change my ways though. I love avocado. I don’t care who knows it.

      1. Clever Girl

        October 21, 2019 at 7:33 pm

        Avocado + pizza = savage

      2. Jo

        October 22, 2019 at 6:22 am

        I have eh… *counts on fingers* three words for you dollar store rice crackers. Okay four words.

      3. Clever Girl

        October 23, 2019 at 5:05 pm

        can’t argue.

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