- the doctrine or practices of the Pharisees, especially strict observance of the traditional and written law.
- the quality of being self-righteous or hypocritical.
I remember a time when carpet burn on your knees was a badge of honor. A war wound if you will. A mark that signified that you didn’t just lie there (staring at the ceiling). You were an active participant in the kink. (or, I suppose, fighting for your life)
Now, having racked up a fair amount of seniority, the only thing carpet burn is a sign of (these days) is that you misjudged your entry into the bouncy castle (chasing your daughter and nephews) and got roasted for your efforts… which in turn led to a hobbled gait back towards the grown-ups table to drown your sorrows (with a caffeinated beverage), the taunts of the little people ringing in your ears. You don’t even care that you’ve lost a flip flop… the goal is only to sit down, before you fall down. And also not to cry.
It was my youngest daughters baptism this weekend. And associated (and probably mandated) family social that follows these types of events.
It is one of those occasions where I like to limber up, take up a good solid stance (somewhat like a sumo wrestler) and bear hug the hypocrisy for all its worth. Coming from a staunchly Catholic family its easier just to go with the flow.. than to become antagonistic to it all. When picking hills to die on, I generally fold early on, choosing not to expire on any particular mound of principle.. Being a gutless atheist is just easier on everyone concerned. Right?
I mean I got a few jabs and shovel hooks in there. I categorically refused to attend the baptism course required for parents… led (almost comically) by my parishes most zealous ideologues. (who as I understand it have disowned their son for marrying a black girl). Ha ha. The female in this dogmatist duo even commented during the coursework that ‘The lord had not blessed her with grandchildren yet’. (my wife told me… one of us had to attend) … which is quite weird considering I saw their son, with his dark-skinned consort pushing a perambulator through the mall not so long ago.
We also got our kicks in more subtle ways. Choosing non-Catholic godparents. Which is frowned upon. Also my brother-in-law is gay. I think they still care about that sort of thing right? I’m not super current with church doctrine these days.
But yes. I am a massive hypocrite.
Choosing the path of least resistance and otherwise acting out the roles required of me. The opportunity cost of course would be a less craven persona. But that would cause me all sorts of other problems. Chief among them a very difficult working relationship with my parents. And really… I guess when deciding between principle and ease of living I’m inclined to take the low road.