Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

THIS is…

I’m old enough to remember the golden age of air travel. Okay, that’s a lie. I do however remember it being less gross. But that might just be me romanticizing how amazing everything was in my youth. And how everyone was decent, and kind and… clean and wonderful.

Nowadays the vein in my eyeball starts to throb as I take in the queue to the check-in counters that’s snaking half way round the terminal building (and back again) as I walk into the airport. I don’t even dare glance at the queue going through security… although I am looking forward to getting a little bit roughed up and manhandled… albeit without the sweet-nothings whispered into my ear. Or even dinner first. (I’ll take what I can get)

By far the worst thing about airports though is the universally adopted psychological waterboarding hell that mandates that CNN has to be playing from every single screen within your field of vision. There’s just no getting away from it.

Oh how I wish this was real and not Babylon Bee satire.

To be fair. I’d gripe just as much if it was Fox news assaulting my eyeballs. Although… the female presenters are prettier on Fox. I mean if your whole industry mantra is style over substance, might as well go with incredibly good looking people. I get less hostile about being harangued by pretty people. I can’t attest to the beauty of the male presenters. They all look the same to me.

10 Comments

  1. saynotoclowns

    at

    Lol. How I love the Babylon Bee.
    There’s a line in Zoolander 2 that is something like, “you are so hot. Therefore I trust you.” Your last paragraph made me think of that!
    Speaking of the past, my parents regale stories of the golden times, when there was so much room on planes, and areas where the staff would let my older sister, as a baby, just play on the floor etc. Sigh.

    1. Jo

      at

      Babylon Bee is amazing! I’m enjoying it even more than the Onion. Which… might just be me picking the underdog over the entrenched incumbent. Who thought religious people could be so funny. (ha ha)

      Ah, Zoolander, a cultural masterpiece. Well sorta. Its amazing how many one-liners survived all these… is it decades now? Gosh… it is isn’t it.

      We are so old.

      1. saynotoclowns

        at

        I agree…re vs. the Onion.
        haha…I am blessed to have many hilarious christians in my life…even if I don’t include myself. 😉🤪

        I will always freaking love Zoolander. we are so old. I mean, wise.

      2. Jo

        at

        Lol. YES! Lets go with wise.

        Although I sprayed cooking-spray into my eye this morning because I couldn’t figure out which way the nozzle was pointing… so… maybe wise is a bit of a reach.

        Lets rather go with ‘difficult to kill’.

      3. saynotoclowns

        at

        what an amazing coincidence, truly, as I am cooking our dinner right now and needed some cooking spray and lamenting scraping food of the oven tray…ugh!
        Your story is way more entertaining. haha I hope the ole eyeball is okay?

        lol. nope. still wise. I mean, you could just say you took one for the team to find out which way to spray it…

      4. Jo

        at

        Oooh. Whatcha making. Is it delicious? For some reason I imagine you can cook…

      5. saynotoclowns

        at

        well actually…I was heating sweet potato fries and some crumbed fish…awww that is awesome. I used to cook a lot more. But for lots of reasons, haven’t so much in recent years. Am going to try to get back into it more.
        Do you?

      6. Jo

        at

        Yeah I do. Well… let’s go with I used to. These days with two small kids we have zero time. So we shove something in the oven… our gastronomic tendencies are very much diminished.

        I have this notion that I will get inventive and exciting on weekends again… but so far it hasn’t really panned out that way. See what I did there… panned out.

        Ha ha. Lame.

      7. saynotoclowns

        at

        This is very relatable, except we don’t have kids. A minor detail right? 😉

        Well, except you also have a legit reason to make dad jokes. lol.

      8. Jo

        at

        Ha ha. I think the issue is likely less the kids and more a case of poor time management. I see these other parents in the morning dropping off their kids in their pristine business suite attire, looking well rested, handing off their kids with this amazing looking packed lunch I think to myself… how much cocaine must they be taking…

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