Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

V-day.

If he’s not spending Valentines day with you… you’re the other girl.

I might be paraphrasing somewhat, but close enough. Valentines Day always used to be a difficult day for me…. logistically I mean. I used to be a terrible person. Nowadays…

Well…

I am probably still a terrible person. But since getting married, monogamous. In every way shape and form. Still romantic AF though. I bought my wife a slice of cheese cake from the bakery and then wrote her name in a heart on the cardboard box with a sharpie and put it in the fridge for her to find. Later I got hungry and ate half of it.

Then I fell asleep on the bed with the three year old after wrestling and reading Zog at 6pm. Ostensibly because I had a rough house-husbandly day where I went grocery shopping and… built lego *tries to think of something else he did* Yeah… I got nothing. Things really get out of hand in the domicile of the Joey on a Friday night now.

My mid morning grocery shopping was pretty hard though. There were all these old people who meander through the aisle with no sense of urgency or apparent purpose. On more than one occasion my mind wandered into the realm of senicide or the milder form of just wanting to bash them (violently) with my shopping cart.

Today I chose an all rounder. Eventually after a fair amount of mental arithmetic and tactical processing at the front of the store I mean. I appreciate that if you’re going up against a senior citizen on a mobility scooter you’d better have some velocity behind you… but it should do well against any of the other unmounted coffin-dodgers.

In any event, hope you are having a wonderful V-day. Or… I suppose if you’re a corporate holiday atheist just a normal run of the mill Friday. If he’s telling you he doesn’t believe in all this nonsense though… be a suspicious. He’s probably getting warm and sticky with somebody else.

Or he’s passed out… snoring in the other room, lying on his arm and giving himself pins and needles.

BACK TO FUNDAMENTAL JOEYISM

8 Comments

  1. Over Soil

    at

    Oh my word you made me laugh Jo, thank you beloved that’s a brilliant giggle.

    1. Over Soil

      at

      If only I could make it show more than one [Like].

    2. Jo

      at

      Oh good. I am so glad.

  2. Over Soil

    at

    So, here’s the thing, I couldn’t comment on the paper / card post and wanted to, so here’s what it would ‘ave been: Sometimes people come into the charity shop I volunteer at and ask questions sly like and leave me wondering if they can now access my soul! Okay, perhaps a bit of overreacting, but yesterday was one of those moments when he’d left that I realised he had retrieved my mother’s maiden name and the place of my birth, so what the hell was I thinking? and breathe!

  3. Over Soil

    at

    p.p.s. As for being a valentine, I know I’m the other girl in a pecking order. For my hubby has three others to love, and that because the others are felines who I think my believe their species is of Egyptian god decent, they expect god like worship, obedience and loving devotion. He feeds them as soon as he enters the house from work and soon after they use him as a royal cushion, whereas I’m the one who gets to sit alone and change the litter!

    1. Jo

      at

      Lol. Have him wrapped him round their… claw then?

      1. Over Soil

        at

        They do and me when they stand outside on the window giving me all that “Meow let me in lesser mortal!”

  4. saynotoclowns

    at

    Actually, I told him I didnt’ believe in it haha. I asked right from the start, that we never do V day.
    Sounds like yours was awesome though.

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