The little mermaid
The little Mermaid irks me. Specifically the Disney adaptation of Hans Christian Andersons book, which… eh… has more nudity and violence… and I think the little mermaid actually kills herself… I might be misremembering that… maybe she only tries to kill herself… but because she didn’t stab the prince and his new wife and daub herself in their blood… she becomes an air elemental or something. In any event the Disney version is quite a departure. And not only because they gave Ariel a clamshell bikini.
Mostly I feel for Ursula the sea witch… and the Mer-peoples contempt for contract law. Which is basically the foundation of our society/civilization and the only thing that holds us back from the abyss. Seriously where would we be if we just allowed fishy red heads to wangle their way out of signed indentures.
The answer is hell. Clearly.
Having dated a disproportionate number of crimsoned follicled females I can confirm that they are all undeniably cooked. Gingers need firm… operating guidelines… let’s go with that… and also constant vigilance by the datee, lest they steal your soul (and take over the world). It’s an exhausting undertaking. That’s not to say there aren’t benefits… but you need to have your wits about you. And maybe carry some cable ties. Also, its important to remember that, not unlike vampires, their Achilles heel is UV light (conveniently supplied by our local star).
This kid gets it. The ‘real’ hero of the Disney reimagining.