Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Fruit loops

This whole week I’ve been waking up at strange times. Bereft of anything better to do, and my circadian rhythm severely screwed up I’ve been reaching over, picking up my iPad and single fingering long rambling posts from supine and then not clicking publish. Ive been writing weirdly bombastic, aggressive stuff at 2am… I guess most of my posts lean into superciliousness, perhaps these just seem more so than usual.

This morning I have an added encumbrance to my predawn shenanigans. It’s her birthday today. She’s turning four. My wife is sleeping in the other bedroom with the just one year old. We have a party planned for later. I should be trying to sleep.

(theoretically) I should be sleeping better… since I’m not working anymore. I imagine, after psychoanalyzing myself, that I’m going through some sort of transitional phase… maybe.

Tonight though the German wanted out. And then started to bark somewhere near the top of my garden which is very overgrown and scary. (My daughter refers to it as the deep dark wood) My German Shepherd never barks. Unless something is amiss…

…Like someone being there thats not supposed to be. In my gung-ho days I might have investigated such an occurrence on my own with a flashlight, a rifle and knife gripped in between my teeth. These days, well… I farm out at least part of that responsibility.

Had to dig deep into the archives to find something from when I was vaguely hardcore

My security company sent two scary guys with berets, body armor and camouflage and together we trekked up the incline… me barefoot, in my boxers and a T-shirt sans any of the accoutrements required for such an endeavor.

My seemingly lackadaisical approach bolstered by the addition of at least two additional targets and the fact that the morale of any lurker (at least historically) is usually broken by the sight of torches wielded by multiple combatants. It’s not really about anything else other than suggesting a softer target might be in order.

In any event I am still alive.

And hungry.

03h49 doesn’t seem like a great time for Fruit Loops though.

10 Comments

  1. tara caribou

    at

    The lack of description of the interloper makes me figure that it was just a cat trapped in a tree…. or so I hope.

    1. Jo

      at

      I can generally tell by the tone of her bark if it’s local fauna (like if she’s chasing a mongoose)… or something else. Angry versus excited. This felt like something else. But who knows…

      1. tara caribou

        at

        *ominous music builds*

      2. Jo

        at

        So the neighbor up and diagonally across from us was smacking his wife around at 2am this morning. Which I’m guessing the dog heard and didn’t appreciate.

      3. tara caribou

        at

        That’s fucking lame. Smart dog.
        Jackass man. You never told me your neighbor was a donkey. And that upsets me a bit.

      4. Jo

        at

        I don’t actually know them. It’s quite far from my house and their entrance is on another road. Heard all this from another neighbor. It is upsetting.

  2. jim-

    at

    Jo? Where’s Jo? You sound a little down. Just remember, no matter how bad things are they can always get a little worse. Chin up, up with your chinny chin chin 🎶

    1. Jo

      at

      i’m here. Sorta. Sorry, my comment on my wordpress are all messed up right now. Half of them don’t load or they appear days later.

      How are you doing? Do you have enough toilet paper where you are?

      1. jim-

        at

        Yes, we’re fine. I’m only concerned that the way this went, if we ever have a diarrhea epidemic we will sell out of nasal spray.

      2. Jo

        at

        That does seem like a logical conclusion. I must admit I went to the store today and panic bought… eh… two (giant) jars of nutella and a extra large bag of Columbian… eh… coffee beans. These are the things that are important to me.

        Gad you’re okay. I know you’re in the risk category (age wise). ha ha. I’m so funny.

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