Tell me if you have the same problem…
You’re bored. So you check social media/network news (they’re kinda the same thing now anyway right?) and you’re annoyed to discover that the world is not ending as fast as you’d like. I mean it’s still ending, but the pacing feels all wrong to me. Maybe it’s the immediate gratification entitlement thing I’ve got going on… but Covid-19 seems really all about slow and steady…. building up a decent head of steam… before smiting us. Ha ha. I said head. (if you can still be juvenile the bacillus haven’t won yet)
I mean occasionally I get my thrill headline (usually from CNN) that underscores my sense that the end is nigh… but mostly it’s just… I dunno, slow.
Apparently it’s my poor appreciation of math compounded with unreasonable early stage expectation. You usually don’t get the whole nine yards on the first date… you need a little romance before she’ll let you do anything freaky. You have to put in the hours. And then expect to reap the rewards…
Since this is my first pandemic… I was expecting things to really hit the ground running. *casts a weary eye at his hoarded groceries* seriously… this stuff is probably going to go off. Why did I buy 72 eggs? That seems excessive… now… in retrospect… when I kicked that old ladies walker out from under her (and followed it up with the ‘peoples elbow’) it all felt really well considered.
In all seriousness though. I was feeling a little bit well disposed towards the state yesterday. My president made a good speech (your president probably still sucks) and we are going into a more serious version of lockdown from… eh… tomorrow. Or maybe it’s the next day. He said from midnight… which basically meant the entire country had a heated debate on Twitter if that meant 23h59 on Wednesday or 23h59 on Thursday.
In any event. Besides not really thinking that one through… the rest of it seemed fairly sound. Economic suicide versus wading through the corpses of the elderly and the immune compromised.
Truthfully I’m not impressed by the burden of proof from either side. BUT Italy gives me pause and I like to err on the side of caution. And there are some old people (like my parents) that I wouldn’t mind keeping around a little longer. I mean they annoy the hell out of me… sometimes… but death seems a little final solution-esque. No take backs.
So I was bouncing around all cheerful like and went to go buy breakfast for everyone at work. (Yes I know I’m technically unemployed… but I have a skeleton crew in at the moment cleaning up and burning evidence). ((Because I am a genius I closed my company a month before world collapse))
And yes. I use the term genius quite loosely. And probably not at all in the way it is intended.
Anyways. Because the world was panic buying I couldn’t find parking on the main road and so parked down a residential side street. There is this hole-in-the-wall place I like to frequent. It’s hygienically suspect… and the decor is… plastic table cloths that only get wiped down once a quarter. But they do an amazing take away bacon and egg and cheese wrapped up in pure amazingness.
While I waited for my order I watched this meter maid (piece of shit) work her way down the line of cars from my vantage behind the store front glass. The car on the corner was parked on the yellow line… so fair enough… they got a ticket. Then the next car got a ticket. Maybe they were too close to the curb.
Then she got to my car. And started writing out a ticket. I stormed out (as one does) and demanded to know why she was ticketing me.
‘For parking in the road’. She replied nonchalantly. She actually wrote ‘parking on the road’ in the reason section on my ticket. Am I parked on a yellow line? No. Is there a sign that says no parking? No. She tells me she doesn’t care and hands me my ticket. For a moment I think about saying that I hope she gets sick and dies. But I (unusual for me) just take the ticket. I then photograph her and my car because… I’m insanely self righteous and will… when I eventually get a summons, go to court (where I will waste an entire day, argue with the judge and then likely still lose because of some obscure bylaw that I don’t know about… all because of… a $20 fine)
And just like that all my good will towards the state evaporates and I want to burn it all down. Fuck this. I storm back… angry spice my chips (or fries if you prefer Americana) and huff on about it to anyone who will listen for a bit.
Injustice is the word I use most.
This is probably why I am a libertarian though. (Because I’m easily angered)