Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Weigh to go

If I survive being locked down… I imagine I will have to leave my house through the section of wall that the fire department had to break out with sledge hammers… so they could attach me to the cable from one of those abnormally large cranes. While being winched out… a film crew from A&E would document this occurrence for posterity (and for all to gawk at) and provide commentary about this ‘difficult’ retrieval operation.

All I seem to be doing at the moment is eating (and drinking coffee).

Might just be easier to leave me, brick up the bedroom where I collapsed. Maybe throw in an air freshener or one of those urinal blocks before you set the final stone.

I’d like a plaque though. Something for the pilgrims.

And maybe a dozen original glazed… just so I have something to do while I wait for my air to run out.

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11 Comments

  1. westcoastwoman

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    ….coaxed a smile out of me, that is saying a lot

    1. Jo

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      Oh thats good. I’m glad. How are you doing over there, across the pond?

      1. westcoastwoman

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        Live on an island off the left coast of Canada, we are in lockdown like everyone else on the planet. Doing well considering…..
        You and your lovely family stay safe……

      2. Jo

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        Thanks. You too. Be wary of Orcas. (this is my go-to imagining for that part of the world) Ha ha.

      3. westcoastwoman

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        Actually herring season just ended which attracts mammals and birds of all kinds and a pod of Orcas fed and breached and played out front for over an hour the other day. I am not wary of them, except when in a kayak:)

      4. Jo

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        My folks live near Cape Town and they have have Orcas now too (never used to). They’ve been killing all the Great whites in the area and eating their livers. Very Hannibal Lecter-esque. There is outrage from the shark-cage-diving community whose chumming of the water now goes unanswered.

      5. westcoastwoman

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        Wow, just googled that! We have a resident orca group of about 80, no Great Whites to my knowledge. They do eat seals and sea lions, no humans:) but I guess I will keep my kayak closer to shore now:)

  2. crustytuna

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    legit demands. I’d go for two dozen.

    1. Jo

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      But you would make it Tim Hortons right? 😀

      1. crustytuna

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        For the sake of allowing you to believe in Canadiana, yes. (their sour cream glazed is the best).

      2. Jo

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        I believe in the superiority of many a Canadian enterprise…

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