Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Scientists.

Um… damn. I kinda agree with the first panel. With qualifications (obviously).

Having dated a scientist… who was (as far as I understood what she did for a living before my eyes glazed over and I slipped into a coma) brilliant at engineering proteins. (she even won one of those international scientist awards… like what ever the nerd version of a Palme d’Or is)…

… in any event I would have been remiss and negligent in my duties as an adult to leave her alone and unsupervised with a toaster.

That’s not to say there aren’t scientists out there who can darken bread without burning down the entire neighborhood… I am, after all, working on a sample size of 1. (which is probably not great for margin of error calculations and broad speculation on an entire profession)

Before you ask she had amazing boobs.

I definitely don’t agree with the second panel though.

I don’t know anything.

That’s why I’m staying at home. With my 12 gauge and my oversupply of double ply. When in doubt about your ability to positively impact the world the best course of action is likely just to stay put. (but maybe soothe your ego by professing competence to save the world on social media)

Or smash your face with chocolate brownies. Which is what I’m doing. Because I’m a winner.

BACK TO FUNDAMENTAL JOEYISM

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