Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Philosophy

Ice, ice…

Hi my name is Jo. And I love trolley problems. I also love unintended consequences, opportunity cost and all manner of cheese. Except Casu marzu. Because I am not a (complete) savage. Or Sardinian. Also nothing you say will convince me that you can disguise the taste of Brussel sprout sufficiently well enough to make it palatable. In fact why do you continue to perpetuate these lies? Twitter should add you to some sort of fact checking list.

But before we get away from ourselves and chase badgers through the undergrowth I really do love ethical dilemmas with unsatisfactory outcomes… be they imagined to involve rolling-stock, burning buildings or shallow ponds.

Or even… frozen rivers. *cue dramatic music and wavey lines*

Passau, Germany, in January 1894

A small kid playing on the banks of the frozen river Inn, wanders onto the ice and… crack… falls into the icy water.

A slightly older boy called Johann Kuehberger (who would later become a Catholic priest) sees this and fearlessly rushes onto the river and manages to pull the child from the frozen water, saving his life.

A local newspaper records the incident and praises the hero. It also publishes a picture of the child who was saved.

I’ll give you a clue.

Damn Catholics and their penchant for saving souls. Ha. Of course this frail kid would… weirdly… prove REALLY difficult to kill. He also survived a British Mustard gas attack during the Great War which temporarily blinded and muted him. He was also injured in the battle of the Somme when a shell exploded in his dugout. Not to mention some of the assassination attempts later on in his ‘career’.

The story of Adolf Hitler falling through the ice is largely regarded as apocryphal as it was never confirmed by Adolf in his later years. Although, some argue that this would be consistent with his psychology and would have ruined his carefully crafted persona.

Trolley problems are nice in so far as they don’t have to be true for us to dwell on their supposed consequences.

Also, wouldn’t this cast doubt on God being an interventionist? Although maybe he was trying… and kept getting foiled by his loyal acolytes?

It makes me smile (albeit sardonically) to imagine God (bearded and Abrahamic) throwing his hands up in despair as Johann Kuehberger pulls Adolf Hilter out of the water. ‘Oh what the #@#&, seriously?’

BACK TO PHILOSOPHY

17 Comments

  1. crustytuna

    at

    1. BACON makes Brussel sprouts good. Bacon makes everything better.
    2. I also picture God throwing his hands up in frustration. “COME ONNNNnnnn.” Amazing.

    1. Jo

      at

      I love Bacon. Its sooooooo difficult to find ethically sourced Bacon here though. Pig farming is such a dark enterprise. As a semi-enforced rule I try only eat meat that I know the provenance of. So supermarket bacon is pretty much out for me. Alas.

      I keep telling himself that one day I will have a homestead… and raise pigs (amongst other things). And then… well… probably not be able to eat them.

      1. crustytuna

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        Well, if I was to be ethical about my bacon, then I’d never get to eat it either. 🙁
        You can’t eat pigs you raise. They’re such intelligent animals. It’s like Charlotte’s Web: wholly traumatizing.

      2. Jo

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        Agreed. My wives family were farmers in Zimbabwe… (before the fall) and they had a pet pig… and one day it disappeared and they were served meat of… indeterminable origin that night.

        Messed them up.

  2. jim-

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    We save everything nowadays. It will be our undoing. On the flip side, I resuscitated a cold water drowning victim and she mad a full recovery. Was a delightful person and brought me cookies every year on the anniversary of her extension.

    1. Jo

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      Oh wow! Now that is a cool story! Beats scraping people off rocks at the bottom of gorges. Hopefully she doesn’t go on to genocide a whole people… because then I will totally blame you.

      DAMN YOU JIM.

      1. Jo

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        Ha ha. Now conveniently packaged as a beverage. Actually… that looks like a beer. Which… probably makes more sense actually.

      2. jim-

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        I hear that a lot.

      3. Jo

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        Yeah, If I had a friend called Jim, I’d use ANY opportunity to say ‘Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor, not a…’.

        Of course this would obviously work better if I actually were a doctor. Alas.

      4. jim-

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        I did think dammit Jo when I read this piece. I have my own trolly problem to post then I read this first. Hmm. Post or not post? Dammit jo

      5. Jo

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        Just post it. I think you’re safe. No one reads my blog anyway. 😀

      6. jim-

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        True…I posted it

      7. Jo

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        In my defense… I have like… 3 regular readers now. And they love me. Okay… one of them loves me. The other two are just here to poke fun me at me.

        Lol. I tried to get my wife to read my blog. ‘She was like… yeah, I tried… but you know… its.., kinda… yeah’.

  3. Sha'Tara

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    I don’t know what the latin means but the reason so few people follow this blog could be because there is no “Follow” button on the bottom right and side. I know because I tried all kinds of ways to get it to show up and it must have been chasing groundhogs. So, can you link me or something, Jo?

    1. Jo

      at

      Hey Sha’Tara.

      Um…. I know back in the day… I turned it off. The like buttons and the follow buttons I mean, because I didn’t really want followers. (which yes, I realize runs against the whole point of blogging)

      I apologize for the annoyance. I’ve spent the last twenty minutes trying to figure out what I did to make myself so inaccessible… but its been a while… so… eh… lets say that currently I have no idea.

      Sorry. I’ll figure it out in a bit.

    2. Jo

      at

      Okay… so far… after mucking about for a twenty minutes…

      if you go here click on my About page and scroll the bottom I’ve created a wordpress follow link button there.

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