Quotes from the Carpathians

I felt the need to buy something, having now committed an inordinate amount of time browsing the foldout tables outside the animal charity shop. I’d had a hardcover in hand for about half an hour, still in perfect condition, and stupidly cheap.

I’d noted with annoyance that the dustcover had gone with the cinema version of the count on the front. He’s meant to have an impressive looking moustache… which… I always thought would get in the way during the act of imbibing delicious O-pos from the jugular of nubile maidens… or indeed, going down on anyone, nubile or otherwise. (which is the main reason I have never grown one, ha!). Dracula movies (and series I suppose) are uniformly garbage. Except Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And important exception that floats to the surface of this opaque cesspool. The Sarah Michelle Gellar version, he added quickly, to avoid confusion.

In any event, one day I will live in a house with a front door. And that door will have a lintel. And on that lintel (if the wife lets me) I like to imagine that I would carve a quote from this book.

“Welcome to [our] house. Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring!”

It’s such a great line. Spoken (if you didn’t know) by Count Dracula to Jonathan Harker, the soliciter, after he arrives at the castle after his nightmarish trip up the Borgo pass.

Although…

Sometimes when it’s dark and I’m all alone, I think, ‘What would Buffy do?’

… might also work as an inspirational quote carved into a doorway.