Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Don’t get bit (and other resolutions).

I am not a fan of resolutions. Mostly because I never stick to them and my tendency is to dislike and disparage the things I am bad at. That way I can eke out a win, psychologically at least, despite my obvious lacking. Still, I am tempted. Mostly because all the cool kids are doing it. And more than anything I want to be thought of, and seen as, cool. And also, proficient, at… eh, life ‘stuff’.

Of course now I can’t think of anything I want to ‘resolute’. Read more, eat better, lose weight, these all seem quite pedestrian. And so achingly quotidian. BUT, if I pick anything more robust and demanding, I risk failing spectacularly. And really, I don’t want to fail.

So there we were.

Besides, its already the second. Which means, I’ve wasted a day. (in the perfectionist sense) Which might mean I can only start next year. You can’t start a year long streak if the first day has already passed you by, right? Which I think probably settles the internal diatribe. Next year it is then.

Its been really hot since Christmas. And me and the progenies have spent most of the time perfecting our cannon-balls and retrieving various bits of Playmobil detritus from the bottom of the pool. I take solace in the fact that, while my four year old can’t ride a bike properly yet, her swimming is pretty good. One out of two for the inculcate skillsets that need to be transferred to the next generation is a passing grade for dad. We’ll get to the bike stuff soon enough.

I discovered that the first of my Jalapenos in my garden have turned red and suddenly had the hankering to make Chili Con Carne for breakfast this morning. Together with fried eggs, avocado and Lungo’s. It was damn delicious. Although not quite as ‘hot’ as I’d hoped. For real ‘heat’ I need to wait for my habaneros, which are still very green and juvenile.

In other news my brother in law returned from his holiday in Mozambique with a spider bite souvenir.

It was looking quite nasty and was starting to develop necrosis so he had to go under to be sliced open and scooped out. We spent a great deal of time (post lunch and pre-coffee on Christmas day) hypothesizing what sort of spider he was bitten by.

There are only so many bites that can get all necrotic (as far as I know), so my personal bet is a Brown Recluse. (although these bites often look MUCH worse) After the fact these things are difficult to verify… so its unlikely I’ll be winning anything. Which makes me sad… because I’m quite competitive that way. In any event. Its considered an elective procedure. And for electives you need a negative COVID test. Its one of those things I find quite… I don’t know… I’ll just hang around here while the flesh on my calf starts to get all gangrenous and slough off. Take your time.

In any event, once they had scooped out all the rotting flesh they left it open (but bandaged) for two days and then, when he went back, they packed the wound with honey.

Which I found really fascinating. At the back of my mind somewhere I always knew that honey had these great wound recovery properties… but I’d never heard of it being used in a modern medical procedure. Score one for the crunchy homeopaths of the world. For some reason I imagine the nurse getting the squeezy bottle from the staff canteen… ha ha… hopefully that’s not the way it went. But this is Africa… so who knows.

I suppose, as far as you can help it, not getting bitten by a spider is probably as good a new years resolution as any. Maybe I’ll use that one. Report back to you in a years time.





  1. Over Soil


    Not many things make me pull a face (well it wouldn’t be appropriate in my line of work) but that looked worthy of the look I pulled. πŸ˜•

    1. Jo


      What line of work are you in?

      1. Over Soil


        I prefer not to say.

      2. Jo


        Is it because if you tell me, you’ll have to kill me?


  2. crustytuna


    Yikes, that bite looks nasty… Not getting bitten sounds like a good resolution, and relatively easy to follow through… I mean, if you’re going to have a resolution, why make it hard?

    1. Over Soil


      I have a tiny scar left on my leg from a spider bite. It wasn’t a big spider πŸ•· and the bite wasn’t a big one to begin with, but the ouch area grew and grew for some reason, then stayed around longer than I was expecting. The scar was larger to begin with too, but now it’s blended in and at some point like a lot of horrid things like this, I might forget it ever happened.

  3. SnapDragon X.


    Omg. The chili looked on-point, then my stomach turned with the following photos! Hope he recovers quickly. πŸ•Š

    1. Jo


      Yeah, he seems to doing fine. Went for a run yesterday… which seems insane to me… but each to their own.

      (I’d be lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself and milking it for everything its worth)

      1. SnapDragon X.


        Haha. Me too. πŸ•Š

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