Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

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Ha ha. I think, somewhere right near the beginning I should probably say that I think Cosmopolitan is the tincture of evil. And likely been evil since…. forever. Well, since it was birthed into this world with the mark of the beast on its front cover. Although you might have to play it backwards to get the full (evil) effect. (that might be a generational inference, since peeps of a certain age totally missed the satanic influence of certain forms of music… and look how that’s turned out for millennials)

In any event. I actually thought this was a quite clever. Good one Cosmo, you tricksy tricksters with your trickery.

Judging by the flood of annoyance pulsing through my feeds, its clearly pushed some buttons. And people of a certain girth and disposition are getting SERIOUSLY bent out of shape by pointing out that being fat is DEFINITELY not healthy. And that Cosmo are a bunch of liars!! Bent out of shape, har, har, see what I did there.

I laugh. You guys are so cute. You critics of modernity with your twitter feeds and Youtube channels. Getting played like you are.

I mean from a marketing perspective its phenomenal. They’re getting so much free press. Absolute genius.

I clap my hands in glee. (I really like stuff like this)

BUT THE MESSAGING IS ALL WRONG!!!!!

Ha ha. Wait… every…. single… cover of Cosmopolitan (and every other magazine… and really, these days every form of media) is a litany of dishonesty. And this is the one you take exception to? Annoyed enough to get on your hobby horse and foam apoplectically to your followers…

Goddamn fat people, they’re ruining everything.

To be completely honest… I only take exception to fat people when they spill over into my seat when I’m crammed into an economy class air coffin. And that, in the case of an emergency, their ability to bottleneck my maneuvering towards an emergency exit may prove problematic.

But other than that… I rarely feel inconvenienced by heffalumps. Not one of them has ever broken into my house and eaten all my food.

*thinks about that for a second*

Damn! That would REALLY upset me.

Although that would probably be quite challenging since my domicile is largely designed to deter even the most lithest of forms from penetrating my inner citadel. So really… I shouldn’t spend time worrying about it. And really, if anyone left a plus sized wooden horse outside… I wouldn’t drag it inside… I know how that story ends.

Did you notice how Cosmo made the pose of the black lady more comic than that of the white lady. Eh… I actually didn’t… I mean its probably because I’m a racist… but now that you’ve pointed it out… oh wait… I still don’t care.

Although… I don’t think I could do that move… standing one leg and holding my foot I mean…

*gets up… does move, almost tips over and narrowly avoids smacking his head on the edge of the desk*

Yeah, okay, *cough* I feel I can totally pull off the other move though… although I’d give it more blue-steel… but you know, not everyone’s got that look.

When you dwell on this on long enough, this almost as bad as when they filled out Barbies bod, made her less of an air-head and MADE her wear full upper body bathing suits. That was… eh… is a dark time.

Actually, maybe the pundits are right… and this is the beginning of the end. Or maybe the beginning of the beginning where no one cares about anyone else’s looks anymore and ‘actual’ people decide what’s right for them and everyone rises up above criticism, comparison and constant commentary.

I wanted to alliterate at the end.

You know, go out with a bang.

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FUNDAMENTAL JOEYISM

[#644]

2 Comments

  1. Over Soil

    at

    Okay, so imagine this (come on close your eyes, oh wait, that means you can’t read)you fall asleep and wake up all the things you don’t want to be. As someone once said and this would be so hurtful to hear on that day: You can argue with reality, but that you will lose, but only 100% of the time. I’m grateful to wake up who I am, the way I am, healthy with the perceptions of others not bothering me and it’s a gift I welcome. Ooh what if reincarnation (never noticed that it is both the words rein and carnation) is a thing and you come back as [ fill in the gap ].

    1. Over Soil

      at

      The good thing about t’Internet, is that I could be any gender, any size, anywhere… and so can any of us that have access to it. I love that idea, the well of humanity all interconnected, but then again it can also be far too crazy for me and that’s where reality is such a blessing, that and nature out there in the fresh air waiting for true interaction. 🌳 πŸ‚ Hear it calling?

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