Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Modern covenants

I’m sitting on the steps outside my daughters school waiting for her to come out. ‘What you reading?’. I loathe this particular mom. She’s absolutely awful. Today its stuffed into black spandex and luminous orange trainers. Normally she inflicts herself on one of the other moms, but I’m the only other person here… so… lucky me.

Sunglassed and masked up, I doubt she can perceive my annoyance, she has the EQ of a garden variety loam… so probably doesn’t notice my whole body grimace, and if she does, wouldn’t be able to discern that it was aimed at her.

I turn my book so she can read the cover. She looks at it, and then tilts her head, willing her single brain cell to roll from one side to the other, which one can only assume is some sort of kinetic thought process. ‘Its a book about laissez faire economics’ I say, which is mostly true I guess. ‘Oh’, she perks up, ‘where are you doing your degree?’ Its my turn to be confused, until I realize she thinks I’m reading a university text book. ‘Oh, no, this is just my thing, kinda’.

‘I just read the subtle art of not giving…’ and then leans in to whisper, ‘a fuck’.


‘Mark Mason’ I smile weakly still reeling from this non sequitur. ‘YES!’ she says to me, beaming!

I want to tell her that I think she is everything that’s wrong with the world and that I hate Mark Manson and his repellent line of literature aimed middle manager wannabes. (does that sound haughty enough?)

But I don’t. Because… well… I really want to. But it will likely make her sad. And I don’t want to be responsible for hurting her feelings. Even though she’s mentally dry-foisting herself on me and deserves to be poked in her metaphorical eye-hole. Besides, she’s just trying to create rapport by telling me she’s also read a book.

Fortunately at this point the kids start to come out and we can separate and go on our merry and divergent paths. I like to imagine if I had a therapist they might positively reinforce my restraint at our next session as I lay on the chaise lounge and verbalized my current vexation with the world at large. ‘Well done Jo, you’re getting so much better at this, have a cookie’.

If I’d been sitting there reading on my phone or tablet, she probably would have left me alone. There’s a new covenant now that people deep into their device have their do not disturb light switched on. Reading an actual book however, has become, for some at least, a social convention that they cannot navigate.

Its not her fault I guess. Life is just Myers-Briggs personality types bumping and grinding into one another. And mostly not in a way that leads to people getting naked, burning each other with wax and then falling off the bed.

Wait, that may have been overshare. Although I did burn myself with wax last night as I inexpertly tried to blow out at candle by tilting it towards myself. Definitely not as kinky as I remember. Although I suppose the addition of mammary glands up close and personal makes for circumstances where discomfort can be better tolerated.

Which now makes me wonder if said ‘mom’ were prettier. Or exceptionally lithe, would that have upped my sufferance?

I’m saddened to say it probably would have. Being accosted and harassed by aesthetically pleasing individuals is the better alternative I suppose.

Despite my protestations I am still quite a shallow beast.

C’est la vie





  1. crustytuna


    I hated that Mark Manson book. It was meh writing, and so many pages wasted on very little actual content. (Like my blog I guess, but I digress.) Funny how putting a swear word in a title is effective marketing somehow.
    I sit in my car to avoid other moms. We’ll wave, then go back to our devices. They’re all hot, but I can’t say that helps me any πŸ˜‚
    1 brain cell rolling around = A most excellent image! Keeping that one stored for easy laugh access…

    1. Jo


      For some reason I imagine your neck of the woods is all trophy wives that work out all day… sorta like Aspen and Vail are. But say things like ’bout, hoser and add ‘eh to the end of sentences.

      I wouldn’t want to associate with them either πŸ˜€

  2. westcoastwoman


    Could have a long conversation about this piece with you, I always enjoy your sense of humour and the insights into yourself. I also loved the1brain cell line…
    .and how wearing a mask however uncomfortable allows for undetected emotions when dealing with people we disagree with, but then we are into “us and them” and that is a long and winding road…..made me start my morning with a smile thank you.

    1. Jo


      Thank you. Glad I made you smile. How you doing over there on the West Coast… on your island? (I’m remembering that correctly, right?)

      Still fighting the good fight?

    2. westcoastwoman


      The island off two islands and into isolation has proved to be quite the inward journey an due to Covid even when I do see another human I have “come from away ” so keep my distance. I go there about once a month for a week. Gives my husband and I time apart which during this time of too much togetherness is good.

      There is a funny story from the ferry line up that I am percolating the title will be “the two best ways to die” …….

  3. Over Soil


    How we all love to judge each other. School gates are great places for judging fuel. Who wears what 🀑 holds what β˜‚οΈ says what… So for me seeing someone holding a book would automatically send me off on the thought that the holder doesn’t like to socialise at the school gates. I would leave a wide gap or find the book fuel to think “pretentious”. 🧐 Yup, how we (include me in that obviously) love to judge each other. πŸ˜‰

    1. Jo


      Being judgmental, stereotyping and pigeonholing people based on aesthetics are very strong human traits.

      I sometimes wonder if its easier to just embrace our nature instead of fighting it all the time.

      1. Over Soil


        I’ve worn such a vast array of stuff at the school gates including plenty of sun burn, welly boots in the winter, smiles, frowns, smart, dishevelled… I wonder if I should wonder what people thought.

      2. Jo


        I’m sure people imagined all manner of things. The trick is not to care I guess. Easier said than done sometimes

      3. Over Soil


        There’s an age where looks matter so much to us and then there’s an age when it dawns on us that it doesn’t matter a fig. I’m in the latter age thankfully. Comfort over style more often than not. πŸ‘• πŸ‘–

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