Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

A learning disability

My junk is on fire. I made the amateurish mistake of chopping up jalapenos for my breakfast scramble and then post consumption heading off to go and pee. The next ten minutes or so are likely to be quite uncomfortable.

Sadly this is not the first time I’ve committed this particular culinary faux-pas. And clearly, my ability to learn from past mistakes is a very much diminished faculty. In fact, some might argue that it puts my ability to classify myself as a Homo Sapiens (or wise man) in doubt.

I don’t really have a clever come back for this. So I’ll just nod my head in resided acquiescence. Besides… I am more concerned with how exactly capsaicin got transferred from the area that is gripped and (to a degree) aimed, to my testicles. Which are currently feeling the brunt of the aforementioned smoldering. How is this possible? Pretty sure my stance and my handling of said appendage is all fairly standard… I mean other than I have to use two hands, ha ha.

In any event, I think we’ve delved into this mysterious happenstance enough now. Onward and upward onto sterner stuff.. like…

Eh…

My German Shepherd has come into my study and has wedged herself, quite unceremoniously, in between my desk and armchair. She’s snoring so loudly I have to turn the volume up on my headphones. She’s tired. We were up at five am doing a patrol of the neighborhood. I have to walk her early before it gets too hot, this is not really a suitable climate for creatures such as these… and the evenings are spent wrangling savage pygmies into warm water, scrubbing them down and then reading to them and are always way too manic and chaotic to even imagine some sort of routine involving the menagerie.

And so this is how I usually start my day now. Except on weekends where I’m trying to create some semblance of bike fitness again.

I must admit, the internet gurus like to extoll the benefits of a gentle saunter first thing in the morning… and they are not wrong. Which grinds me up and usually I would be resistant to anything recommended by that collective of ‘experts’. But in this case this particular endeavor clicks together well with my other Lego. And since I’m usually planted in front of my screen for the rest of the morning looking at little red and green bars scroll slowly across the screen its probably a good thing to start your day off with a little perspective. Visually, if not mentally… since we’ve already established near beginning that cognition is not my strong suit.

In any event, those red and green bars require my undivided attention now. (as I rack up my first loss for the morning)

Damn.

+++

FUNDAMENTAL JOEYISM

[#650]

5 Comments

  1. tara caribou

    at

    But she’s so damn cute. 😍

    1. Jo

      at

      She’s okay, for a fatty. 🙂

      How you doing Tara of the Caribous?

      1. tara caribou

        at

        I happen to like fatty’s. So shush. She’s adorable and I would pet her ears happily for hours.

        I’m fairly decent, thanks for asking. Nothing too much to complain about 😉 What are you up to besides sharing embarrassing moments?

      2. Jo

        at

        Really, my whole life is one long embarrassing moment. Ha ha.

        I’m okay, carrying on carrying on. Everything down there seems to be okay now (in case you are curious) I’d send you a pic… but you didn’t respond to my last penis picture so I assume you’re not into it.

        😉

      3. tara caribou

        at

        🤣🤣 ha! Maybe you sent it to my mom. LMAO… I’m always interested in pics 😉

        But thanks for the …uh… bodily update … I got quite the laugh out, slightly too loud, probably.

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