Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Libertarianism

Operation Dinner out

Types ‘Good things the CIA has done’ into the search bar. No, I’m not feeling lucky.

To say the results were underwhelming would be an understatement. Although I suppose all those times the world was saved by a plucky agent are obviously going to be classified and heavily redacted, these things are strictly ‘Need to know’, and lets be honest, you don’t need to know.

What if I do need to know though? The intelligence services are kinda like the competing religions of the world. They promise salvation, well, can you prove it?

No, its a secret.

This recruitment advert is amazing though. Amazing in its kookiness I mean.

*rubs his eyes*

I’m old enough to remember when the CIA was ‘cool’. When Robert Redford could organize a Blackhawk full of special forces operators to storm a Chinese Prison and rescue Brad Pitt in… 36hrs (more or less) with nary a smartphone in sight.

THOSE were the good old days.

Spy Games (2001) was an infinitely better recruiting advert for the Central Intelligence Agency. Well… in my opinion.

Fast Forward two decades.

What… the actual heck?

Its not that I doubt this new breed of intersectional agent could do that… or you know, overthrow or destabilize a South American country, fund international terrorism or be actively involved in trafficking cocaine.

Wait… *does some quick generational math. 2021 less 36… 1985… so potentially her parents immigrated to the United States because of the CIA’s coldwar shenanigans in Central and South America. I’m really struggling to wrap my head around this, can we talk about that instead?

No, the CIA is woke now, so all is forgiven, we’re not here to discuss legacy.

Okay, good, because I was worried there for a second.

I do feel better when the drone operator is gay. Or the pilots lighting up my village are female. Or that the CIA operative can use a lexicon of word salad ideas.

These peeps are going to totally reform the institution… from the inside.

Oh.

Well that makes sense.

I do worry about this persons honesty though. She says she can change a diaper with one hand while consoling a crying toddler in the other…

I’m calling bullshit on that. I have twenty years of Brazillian Ju-Jitsu under my belt… and I can’t even do that.

*spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about this*

I mean I suppose its possible. But maybe you should just put the crying toddler down for thirty seconds. Which now makes me doubt her ability to focus and prioritize outcomes.

Also, did she really hit every…. single, buzzword? I think she did…

I mean that is pretty darn impressive, as feats go. Pity she’s not transgender though, because then I think you would have nailed a perfect ten.

Anyways. Cray-cray.

LIBERTARIANISM

1 Comment

  1. crustytuna

    at

    SHE DID! EVERY BUZZWORD!
    Indeed is strange the CIA would put the time and money into pumping out a video like this, but Robert Redford has long been the perception of CIA agents, and maybe this is the most efficient way to prove that they are changing/woke, because yay diversity?
    I too cannot change a diaper one-handed and I thought I was kind of decent at multitasking, so… not sure what she’s talking about. :/

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