Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism


*slurps the foamy stuff off the top of his bullet-proof coffee*

I must be honest… I missed the whole craze when everyone was drinking this stuff. ‘What sort of savage does this to their coffee?’ I would murmur. Yet here I am. (with the monkey cup I liberated from my daughters kiddies crockery set)

I have since moderated my position from, ‘damn this tastes super gnarly’… to ‘yeah, this is okay-ish’. (also the monkey cup holds the exact volume for properly poured lungo, which is kinda my staple)

I’m imbibing the ‘traditional’ version of Bulletproof. Medium chain triglycerides (a mix of C8 and C10… apparently C6 tastes like absolute ass) and grass fed butter. Well… the cows from whence the butter came apparently felt sun on their backs and ate grass. I have my doubts… but maybe, out there, someone fact-checks claims made on the packaging housing this formerly maligned wonder food and keeps the evil dairy overlords accountable.

I used to be super skeptical about bulletproof coffee. BUT… wait, let me start with some context. I’m trying a 18:6 Intermittent fast. Which is… well… its not easy. Especially for me who is used to near constant grazing. Today is day… *counts on his fingers* … eight. So I’m one week in, of my 40 day endeavor.

Why forty days? Well… if prodded I’ll say its because Jesus did 40 days of Keto in the desert while being tempted by the Devil (wielding carbohydrates)… some people like to point out at this critical juncture that they have their doubts as to whether Jesus was in fact Keto… to which I roll my eyes and sigh. Listen, I’m Catholic… well… a fallen down the stairs and hit my head Catholic… but still… we know stuff. (Not that Catholics read the bible… ha ha… but ‘we’ wrote it… or rather decided what went into it… I mean mostly we discarded a lot of stuff and then… (probably) excommunicated and/or murdered the authors… wait what does this have to do with Jesus being Keto? Absolutely nothing.)

In all honesty its mostly because I have a stack of Morgan Silver Dollars on my desk that I use as counters…. And I have… well, actually only 39 of them, but close enough. Visually, it helps me when I’m trading… I use it as a risk management tool, yeah… there is probably a better less analogue way to do this. But I interpret information visually and tactility.

When I close out a position and it’s a win, I take a coin (or coins) and add it to the win pile. If I take a loss… it gets added back from the wins to the pool. If the wins stack is looking chunky I may take on more risk, or I may take money out of my trading account (which also decreases my stack). If my win stack is low… I’m a lot wearier about what trades I will commit to. Some people can do this by looking at their account balance… or their P&L or their trading journal. I’m… well… I like to stack Morgans. (and also Peace dollars, which some of them are). I think it might be a gamification thing.

In any event, I’ve fasted before. But never for such a short daily time window… and never for this long. Usually I bail after a week. Sometimes two weeks. We will see how it goes this time round.

My break-fast is now at 12pm (I briefly have to consider whether noon is am or pm) and then my last meal is just before six pee em. (We eat dinner super early because of the progenies, so this works out quite well for me)

Easy, peasy, Japaneasy.

Except it’s really not. By 10am (on days one and two) I was losing my marbles. The marbles I have left I mean… and really, I should probably hold onto those. At the back of my mind I register the fact that I am soft and kinda pathetic and that people all around the world go hungry all the time. I’m not that great at suffering. If you want to know all my secrets just deprive me of food for twenty four hours and then tempt me with a toasted Bagel, bacon and scrambled eggs and I’ll tell you whose hidden in what attic.

Well… former Joey might have told you. I’ve hardened-the-fuck-up in the last week. Well… a tiny bit. Maybe I’ll last two days now before giving up my countrymen.

Anyways, Bulletproof coffee got me through the darkness. I have no idea about any of its other magical properties. But it does ‘trick’ your stomach into feeling full, this I can absolutely attest to being true. And in my case at least, stopped me pacing around the house in an agitated manner thinking about how ravenous I was.

To up the difficulty I’m also doing a ‘proper’ Keto diet or Banting… or whatever you want to call it. I actually find Keto easier than Paleo because you’re allowed full fat dairy.

I know. Keto is so kooky. (When you consider all the food pyramid stuff we’ve been indoctrinated into (look a me being all conspiratorial)).

But it also (anecdotally at least) does work. I’ve lost almost 4kg this week. Eh… so like almost 9lbs. Mostly this is because I’ve gotten a little … *coughs* heftier since corona, which is also about the time I stopped running, so I have weight to lose.

Although I remedied the running thing yesterday.

Went for my first proper run in a really loooooooong time. It was… well… it was embarrassing.

Our new domicile is (apparently) 98mtrs above sea level and the roads around me are all quite steep dropping that elevation quite quickly down to the beach. In any event running back up the hill… it was more like a power walk… with my calves, glutes, hams and quads all exceptionally unhappy with the state of affairs. Its not all the inclines fault… I am also a sad, unfit, heathen and after 2km I heaving like an asthmatic with a collapsed lung.

As it happens I did not die. Although towards the end I did feel like was circling the drain of death. Ha ha. I really don’t remember it being so difficult, but I’m basically starting from zero again. Which sucks… that I let myself get so wayward I mean.

It it what it is.

Did I mention I hate running? Maybe hate is a strong word. Still, I feel I need to keep to the blogging tradition and gripe about it.




  1. Over Soil


    Yer didn’t die, a win is still a win. ☕️

    1. Jo



      How you doing up there… in sunny… Wales. Its the bit of land on the left right… not represented on the Union Jack.

      Why are the Welsh not more angry about that?

      1. Over Soil


        I live in Wales and have done for years, but I will never be classified as Welsh, by the Welsh. British, yes, Welsh, no. Still. Anyways, there’s angry people all over the World over flags, I don’t seem to bump into any these days, thankfully.

  2. crustytuna


    I’ve come to hate running too; everything just hurts now, so it serves an added reminder to advancing age.
    Bravo on your IF endeavours! That’s hard, so whatever works to help forget your hunger, Bulletproof or otherwise, is worthwhile in my books. I did it for a while where I’d do a 48 hr fast every 2 weeks. It was horrible, for weak willed me anyway. So now I just eat whatever whenever and hope for the best, though I’m sure this will catch up to me soon enough!

    1. Jo


      Like Oreos. *points at eyes, points at Tuna*


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