Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Racoons of Maine

We have a new addition to the domicile. A violent ball of fluff. Because… eh… we thought our life was too easy and we wanted to up the challenge rating. Or something along those lines. Also they’re kinda cute, I guess. My eldest is a cat person. I honestly have no idea how this happened? Both her progenitors are firmly in the Canis familiaris camp. Is this what staunchly heterosexual (as the only possible orientation) parents feel like when their child comes out as gay? What did we do wrong they wonder?1

[1] you have to disclaimer these things when you’re using tongue-in-cheek. I couldn’t give a stuff about the sexual orientation of my kids… but I do seriously wonder about my childrens feline proclivities. I can only imagine it comes from their mothers side.

We decided on a Maine Coon. Because we are the grown ups and thus get to make these advanced decisions… and project our underlying prejudices. Maine Coons are apparently the most dog like cats. Lets get one of those…

For some reason we imagined we would struggle to find a breeder in South Africa… but as luck (or providence) would have it we found a registered breeder really close to us… about half way between us and the next town… who was just about to have a litter.

The breeder lives on a coastal farm… I have no idea what they actually do, but there was a sheet metal barn with a tractor and various tow-able farm ‘detritus’ scattered about. Generally speaking the soil between the beach and the mountains isn’t great… certainly not suitable for agriculture or viticulture I muse as we drive down the deeply rutted dirt road. Vaguely I wonder if I should switch over to 4WD.

Soon after we started chatting she shared a story on her Whatapps profile in which, I think its one of her sons, reaches into big patch of Agapanthus next to their house with his tongs and then with a deeply South African elocution says, ‘Ja… it’s another puffy hey’, as he pulls out this massive puff-adder from the flowerbed. Ha ha. I must have watched this video ten times. I felt quite emasculated by the casual nature he handles this cytotoxic viper before popping it in his plastic bucket. Farm-kids are just so different… I almost add a ‘hey’ onto the end of that sentence. But they really are.

I mean the ‘mom’ was also deeply interesting. As well as breeding Maine Coons, she also posted a video of herself competing in some sort of long-rifle event. When we arrived to visit our kitten for the first time she had an infant swaddled up with a bottle, ‘Yours?’ we inquired, as one does. ‘No’, she fosters abandoned babies until they are homed. She apologizes for her new security set up, a double enclosure attached to her house, ‘The caracals have been coming off the mountain to fight with her cats’ and the wind blew down one of her fences… the wind is howling today… and this house isn’t completely airtight We trundle past a massive battery bank… she’s offhandedly telling us how she recently drove 800km to go rescue one of her cats where she wasn’t happy with the new owners. It sounds like breaking and entering… but ‘hey’, whatever.

The story goes that Marie Antoinette tried to flee France with all her gear before having her head chopped off in 1793. She owned six either Siberian or Turkish Agoras. Anyways, Marie didn’t make it… but her cats reached Maine… where they bred with the local short-haired variety and ‘bam’ the Maine Coon was… eh… originated? Called coons because their fluffy tails resembled that of the Racoon. Now you know… if you didn’t already.

*takes a sharp inward breath as the kitten jumps into my Lego box and starts going through the motions of… eh… making a motion*

Haven’t moved so fast in a while. Surprised I didn’t sprain something. In any event crisis averted. *puts Lego higher*

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FUNDAMENTAL JOEYISM

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