Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it


A learning disability

My junk is on fire. I made the amateurish mistake of chopping up jalapenos for my breakfast scramble and then post consumption heading off to go and pee. The next ten minutes or so are likely to be quite uncomfortable.

Sadly this is not the first time I’ve committed this particular culinary faux-pas. And clearly, my ability to learn from past mistakes is a very much diminished faculty. In fact, some might argue that it puts my ability to classify myself as a Homo Sapiens (or wise man) in doubt.

I don’t really have a clever come back for this. So I’ll just nod my head in resided acquiescence. Besides… I am more concerned with how exactly capsaicin got transferred from the area that is gripped and (to a degree) aimed, to my testicles. Which are currently feeling the brunt of the aforementioned smoldering. How is this possible? Pretty sure my stance and my handling of said appendage is all fairly standard… I mean other than I have to use two hands, ha ha.

In any event, I think we’ve delved into this mysterious happenstance enough now. Onward and upward onto sterner stuff.. like… eh… the weather.

And Spring which has all of a sudden arrived in with great floral fervor and fanfare (Alliteration, 5pts). It’s also a season I now find quite agreeable.

Which never used to be the case. Living in Jo’burg, with its altitude, dry winters and dust was already a sinus-esque onslaught I could barely ward off. Throw a pollen count of one million to the mix and the change of a season was the nasal equivalent of the Somme. Except, eh… with snot. And hacking up a jelly like consistency with bits of aveoli attached. (so maybe exactly like the Somme)

In any event a bit of sea-level damp is much more amiable to my insides. Especially the respiratory portions of it.

Speaking of all things moist.

Have I mentioned my stream before?

I have this stream running down off the mountain and through my property where it then enters a municipal culvert about half way down my property which then takes it out to sea.

Ever since I’ve gotten here I’ve been fascinated by this domiciliary feature.

Laws, being what they are, means you’re not allowed to interfere with a naturally occurring water course. My neighbor (more about him a bit) got into trouble for constructing a levy of sorts and damming his water, interrupting the course of his stream… before it flows into the storm-water drain where the end of his property meets the road (so similar to us). There were inspectors and city engineers, acrimonious recriminations and sternly worded legal letters. As you might imagine, the municipality won and he had to sledge-hammer his embankment. (despite the fact that, when full, the water would simply enter a spill way and the water would continue on its natural course into the drain)

This got me extremely bothered (obviously) and had me hauling out my Libertarian hobby horse and taking it for a spin. Because, you know…

DAMN (or DAM) the man

(this may require a working-knowledge of Empire Records to make sense)

I’ve thought about constructing my own reservoir. But the thought of creating a habitat for African Bullfrogs right next to my bedroom window has given me pause. And also I’ve been quite lazy. (this seems like a lot of work) Besides, we have a borehole that we share with the aforementioned neighbor, that by virtue of a submersible pump keeps my tanks topped up.

Until recently.

My neighbor sold his place and has moved into a retirement home. I’m quite excited by the prospect of new (and younger) adjacents. Who apparently have Huskies!!!! In any event, our errant homeowner, said he’d leave the pump on to stop the pipes getting clogged with sediment. Which seemed like a prudent and considerate undertaking. Until he locked up everything, turned off the power and disappeared with a nary a word. (Me only noticing two weeks later that both my tanks are completely empty)

The new proprietors have yet to arrive and so faced with an annoying nodus I was compelled to shelve my sloth for a morning.

My MacGyverism ended up just being two garden hoses connected in series and a jerry-can funnel (to expanded the amount of water being forced into the hose) and then simply angling it own the incline in such a way as to facilitate gravity. Maybe forty meters in total.

The German Shepherd approves of my engineering prowess

Filled this 10,000 liter tank in about 15 hours. I’m quite chuffed with myself, as a proof of concept I mean. The garden hose is a quick fix, but I’m willing now to purchase and then trench some bigger diameter pipe.

Of course this is only a temporary solution, since this river does eventually go subterranean by mid summer and then I’m back to underground water. I’m assuming that my new neighbors will arrive relatively soon, and will be amiable to the cost-sharing benefits of a our previous arrangement. Otherwise… well, I will have to sink my own borehole.

But that’s a problem for another day. For now we are one step closer to the fully-off grid conceptualization. Yay us.




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