Resolutions (2019)

I haven’t made new years resolutions in years… because that would imply the need to improve… and (in my opinion) I’m pretty maxed out in general awesomeness. To cram anymore in there would be dangerous to those around me and run the risk of painting my  surroundings in O positive and fecal matter.

. To quote Calvin and Hobbs…

Funny-new-years-resolutions-calvin-and-hobbs.jpg

But this year… with the big four oh fast approaching… I thought maybe I should try something new.

This is how its going so far…

Weight loss. My wife has just birthed our latest progeny… after a December of first world excess and skirting dangerously close to pre-diabetes… we are now racing each other back down to goal weight. I am nothing if not competitive… If I win she will buy me the Lego Rollercoaster… if she wins she gets the equivalent value in new clothes (with the added caveat that I have to go shopping with her… this is obviously pretty terrible)

As of this morning… I’ve lost… 10lbs (in 15 days). Which is pretty good I think? My bad carbohydrate intake for the month so far has been a single piece of toast. And zero sugar. Plus I’ve been working out everyday. The wife is however murdering me with her weight loss. I even renegotiated a handicap in the form of the weight of the child… plus some allowance for amniotic fluid… I’m still getting killed. So I may be going to the mall soon. Ergh!

Coffee intake. I tried to give up coffee completely… which worked… until I went back to work. And then fell (hard) back onto the caffeine crutch. I’ve managed to limit myself to three cups of the black stuff per day. For me… that’s (essentially) going dry… so I’m chalking it up as a win.

News. I have… eh… had (maybe that’s better) news cycle addiction, so I decided to try and take a break from it all. This was really, really, really hard. Government shut downs… Brexit… Imminent financial collapse. But having struggled on through… that old chestnut, ignorance is bliss… it really is. I thought that feeling of being an uninformed, ignorant noob would be too much for me… but as it turns out not knowing how (supposedly) fucked everything is, is quite nice. I still have a vague sense of whats going on out there in the world… you catch some outrage on Reddit and occasionally your co-workers talk about ‘stuff’… but the minutiae of it escapes you. I should have done this ages ago!

*Metal horns*

Life goals.png

While this likely did not involve digging a tunnel (followed up by Steve McQueen jumping the border on a motorcycle) it is still an act worth emulating.

I imagine post concert deafness can be simply remedied by removing ones hearing aid pre-event.

For those about to rock we salute you