Leaf it to us

“Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.

“But we have also,” continued the management consultant, “run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying a ship’s peanut.”

“So in order to obviate this problem,” he continued, “and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and…er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances.

-minutes taken during the last US Federal Reserve meeting (which might explain all the wild fires)

Just kidding. Its from Hitchhikers Guide, by that amazing prognosticator Douglas Adams.

I’m obviously, a macro-economics expert (like all Libertarians). Having hung up my previous expertise, like… eh… (jeez, there are so many now I can’t even remember the order they come in) Immunology and virology was obviously my most recent proficiency. Graduate of the school of JRE and anointed by actually having had COVID. (which is like doing an internship I imagine. Or maybe going to a trade school). Basically doubledly qualified.

Vaguely I wonder if I have underscore the satire of the previous paragraph. Literalism (which apparently WordPress doesn’t think is a real word) is obviously quite hazardous these days. You might catch a brick with your teeth. Either from vertically inspecting the sidewalk or from a source propelled at you with both intent AND velocity (by somebody very angry).

As a side note I actually like Joe Rogan.

I like all people who share my namesake. Even though his has an extra (and somewhat, in my opinion, superfluous) vowel and mine, is more gender ambiguous (like Jo Jorgensen) and therefore more in groove with the zeitgeist. (Ha!)

In any event. If you lean left, inflation has been caused by corporate greed and price gouging. And if you lean right its fucken Joe Biden. If you happen to be Joe Biden you’re not really sure whats going on, except you have a nagging suspicion that ‘Putin did it’. (am I reading this cue-card correctly?)

Eh… did I say I liked all people named Joe? Well, shoot.

Wait, I can make this work. *tries to think of something good Joe Biden has done that can save my theorem*

…okay, we can circle round back to that one later. (No, drone strikes don’t count)

Really I think its weird that we have to have these lighting rod, focal points/peeps to direct our rage at. It is what it is though. We need to blame someone, be it young nubile women who blighted our crops with their wizardry, or Lord Maynard Keynes.

Actually, that last one may, actually, be a fair accusation. But in his defense, WE the people continue to vote and support (and tolerate) the system that perpetuates the Boom and Bust cycles. (The lucky ones of us who happened to have the good fortune to be born into a democracy I mean) So really, we probably get what we deserve. So stop your whining bitches.

Truthfully, this is probably more what I think. (Matt Kibbe is great)

Although I don’t suggest doing this all in one go. (the patient may go into shock and die!) Maybe weaning the markets off the all heroin, opioids and alcohol we use to prop it up. And you know… once it becomes apparent that we don’t really need the government to meddle in free markets maybe amputate that particularly gangrenous appendage once and for all.

Pretty sure we’d all be better off.

Or it could all turn into Mad Max/Woodstock ’99. Which is obviously the concern… and also why no one (besides the kooky Libertarians) want to break open that particular (pandoras) box. Because who will save us from the warlords, the crime bosses and capitalists? Who will build the roads?

Ha ha.

But you know, it might all be fine. The people that reinforce the horror stories tend to be ones with the most to lose. Ie. The politician. And those that have bought them.

As an aside. I think inflation will be brought to heel. Interest rates do work. (in a blunt force trauma smashing your face in with a sledge hammer kinda way). Unless you’re Japan. (in which case whatever you do, nothing will work the way the text book says it will).

A steady, manageable trickle of inflation is actually okay, and even desirable. And MUCH better than the opposite scenario. Zero inflation is more or less impossible. So really, choose your poison.

Would things improve if government stopped spending? Absolutely. Right now they’re fixing the problem (that they’ve created) by stopping YOU from spending, while not taking ANY responsibility or indeed steps to curb their enthusiasm for blowing money they don’t actually have. And are actually floating laws to spend MORE (to fight the oversupply of money). The mind boggles.

Swap the word government with spouse or any other family member and there is no way you’d tolerate this sort of behavior from your group. There would be an intervention of some sort. Or you would leave. But then again that family member has a monopoly on violence and if you decide to opt out, they will hurt you. Really we’re all in an abusive relationship.

On that cheery note… wait… I’ve thought of a reason to like Joe Biden.

He’s not Kamala Harris.

Please don’t die before the next election Joe! *raises eyes skyward* This can be your legacy. The president that lived!

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