Morning glory

Cardio and me are not friends. In fact I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about how we should break up. Sometimes we even do. But then always get back together. (because, you know, without them, I’ll get sick(er)… and die)

But for all tense and purposes I’m in a abusive relationship.

Eh… sir, this is a Wendys.

I shouldn’t even be eating here. (do you see what you make me do?)

So wait… let me be kind and rewind. I’ve been walking in the mornings. I’m embarrassed to say this may have been a Ryan Holiday-ism I picked up. Although to be fair many great philosophers walked every day as part of their routine. Nietzsche comes to mind off the top of my head… Schopenhauer… eh… trying to think of a philosopher who got his steps in and actually got laid on occasion… yeah I got nothing. (okay, nevermind)

In any event, the theory is, you go for these long (maybe even robust) walks everyday (sans AirPods) and while meandering you’ll just have all these random and interesting thoughts. And really, mostly that seemed to be true. And for a while I did this religiously every morning. It was quite nice.

Usually my thoughts babble along the brook of, why is my naval lint always blue. And… if I collected it all in a little jar… how much lint could I collect in one year. (I did this with my finger nails once… until my wife found out about my jar… and took… eh… a dim view of me hoarding my personal detritus) So it was nice to think about other things for a while.

The thing is, I don’t really have time to go on two hour long sojourns every day. Not without opportunity costs in other areas.

And so I decided to make an efficiency change. And condense my 8km walk into a 30 minute run. (And… you know how get back together with the leather-bound ex who hits me )

The downside is, the interesting thoughts are now gone. Replaced by a rasping breathing noise and (well in my case) a deep rooted feeling of anxiety about the next incline. Running hills is just… well, its awful. And where I live up on the mountain, its all up and down and zero meditative flat bits where you can grind out some rhythm.

So my little routine now is to wake up early, get dressed in my running gear and drive down to the beach parking lot and then I run along the coast… well I double back through the suburb for a bit first.

This morning I saw a pretty looking Harrier Hawk flying around… and thought, ‘He’s flying quite low’. But didn’t really think much of it.

When I got back home this was on the group chat.

I feel like I should apologize for the deeply South African background commentary. ha ha.

For the last two hours the group has been blowing up with the ancients voicing concerns about their Yorkies and Daschhunds. Which… in my opinion, if you want to own a snack sized canine you need to be prepared that there might be consequences for your poor decision making..

While I’m on the topic of nature. And its malcontents.

This is path I run on.

I looks innocuous enough… BUT at least once every run I have to step off the path because I’m overtaking a coffin-dodger who is weaving from side to side while on (one their last) morning constitutionals.

This picture was taken last week by a friend of ours who was going for a walk. Which has obviously made me a little more reticent to pass people off piste (as it were).

In any event, my missus just shared this with me…

But I’m getting sidetracked. This morning I choked it off after 5km, and then changed into my board-shorts and went for a swim.

This was supposed to be my new thing now.

The water was a balmy 16C. Whats that like… (does some quick mental arithmetic) like 60F? In any event, cold enough to get me hyperventilating and and have my testicles (and probably some other organs) retract in on themselves. (and there are people that do colder than this?)

Its supposed to be good for you right? And between that and the run I was looking forward to my inspired and energized day that this form of early morning masochism is supposed to inaugurate.

So far I got nothing.

Actually truth be told, its 9am and I really just want to go back to bed again.

I suspect this is all a lie perpetuated by big calisthenics to get people moving… so they can sell them supplements.

Or maybe it just needs a couple sessions before those mythical effects to kicks in? Hmmm. Maybe it should be affects? I’m not really sure now. Both feel right…

Proving that there is NO new mental clarity or acuity.

At least not yet. But I remain hopeful. (which is one of the hallmarks of a toxic relationship right? And probably also religion)

Dammit.