Sticks and stones…
… a timeline
*takes a sip of an almond milk latte*
“This is basically satanism” (closes one eye and tilts his head to one side as he forces the liquid down1) *involuntary shudder*
 is this what giving your first blowjob is like I wonder vaguely.
Two weeks later, having burned through several brands of ‘milk’ alternatives (including soy and oat-milk), and, by chance, finding an almond-milk that doesn’t taste like ass.
“actually this isn’t bad”
“can’t wait to wake up tomorrow morning so I can drink my almond-milk latte”
I’m trying to cut out dairy, he whispers. God, I sound like the dietary-version of a crossfitter… I mean I’ve done it before when I go on one of my (eye-rolling) keto/paleo sorties. But those usually only last two weeks… before carbohydrates and an errant latte crash me out again.
I’ve developed this… thing, since… well, while convalescing with Covid, my ears got really blocked up. Something I’ve never experienced before. In any event, a year on, I’m still struggling with this development. (I actually have no idea if it is indeed Covid related, but the timing was suspicious). In any event, I’ve discovered cutting out dairy helps.
Covid has made me lactose intolerant. (although maybe it was the Vaccine)
Statements likely to get you banned on Twitter.
Tweets calling for the death and/or celebrating the stabbing of Salman Rushdie are totally fine however…
It was a shocker back in the day when everyone didn’t step up to defend free speech and Salman Rushdie and tell the Islamists to go-fuck-themselves…
*Looking at you Jimmy Carter*
… in my (often not so humble) opinion a huge dark stain on (so-called) Western principles.
Its even more shocking to me now, 30+ years later where we’ve (supposedly) progressed as a species.
Look at the feeds of the ACLU, Amnesty International and HRW and you’ll see their twitter feed is clogged with tweets calling for the end of violence against novelists, cartoonists and satirists. Ha ha. Just kidding, there’s nothing there. Although the ACLU has now I see, linked to an article in the NYT saying they’re glad he’s off a ventilator. Two days after the fact.
Having read the Satanic Verses… I can safely say it truly is one of the most benign books ever. *rubs eyes in frustration* Even if it was as bad as people seem to believe. So what? I think Christopher Hitchens said it best (and I’m paraphrasing) ‘We cannot entertain the idea of MURDER for writing a book’.
Wait, let me see if I can find the Hitchslapping clip.
In any event, there are still loads of people who feel that Salman Rushdie had it coming… and that he deserves what he got. (people that are apparently perfectly reasonable and functional in real life, and won’t shank you in the queue at the grocery store). Loads of people still think that if you criticize a religion you give oxygen to the fires of hatred and intolerance and so you shouldn’t ever speak up. (what the heck?) Loads of people who don’t really understand the idea of freedom of speech and don’t mind that its being eroded and corrupted to suit the prevailing ideology. (you know as long as that ideology is OUR ideology).
Blows my mind.
In any event. A year ago, clacking out in 280 characters that you had misgivings about getting shot up with a recently developed drug or that the virus was lab-leaked, could get you into serious trouble. Nowadays, telling JK Rowling ‘She’s next!’ having just tweeted in support of an attacked author, is perfectly acceptable comment thread banter.
Ergh. I’m starting to whine. (in the Theodorian sense of not proffering a solution = whining). I mean mostly because I have no idea what kind of elucidation would change peoples minds on this.
I suppose I just wanted to state for posterity that I am, and never will be for capital (or corporal) punishment because you wrote (or said) something that I (or someone else) didn’t agree with.
So strange being in the (vocal) minority on this.