This would likely be me…
…if I actually had any cash. I can’t even remember the last time I used an ATM. In fact, in modernity, I feel irrevocably inconvenienced if I can’t just ‘tap’ for payments. Do you know how dirty money is?
Also I look forward to my shopping experience soon to be entirely devoid of human interaction. Admittedly when they are gone I will likely post about the ‘good old days’ when a ‘person’ bagged your groceries and someone engaged with you at the point of sale and (albeit just a pointless social dynamic) asked you ‘how you were doing’…
… and if you’re the crazy cashier at my local butcher ask if she can use your online betting profile to put money down on the horses. Apparently she’s been banned… I made the mistake of engaging her after my curiosity was piqued. I worry that she feels we have become familiar. Or perhaps even worse that our brief interactions have given her the impression that I would even have an online betting profile. She smiles at me in a manner that suggests she could make it worth my while and then adjusts some of her purple fringe back behind her ear.
I let her down gently…. by telling her I’m a Mormon. My go-to example for channelling morality. Well… this is more my L’esprit de l’escalier moment later (in the car)… dammit I should have said I was a Mormon. Being Mormon must be a great ‘get out of jail free card’ when your co-workers want to engage in some or other disreputable behaviour after work. If people know you’re an atheist they often just assume you’re basically ‘good-to-go’ for anything and everything. (while also imagining you twist the heads off bunnies in your spare time)
Notice how I didn’t go with Catholicism (theoretically my area of expertise) as my moral high ground… ha ha. Rectitude isn’t really their strong suit anymore. Although you could likely make the argument that things have been on a downward trajectory since the first crusade.
In any event, the time is coming when my raging misanthropy, introversion and bacteriophobia will all be sufficiently dulled by technological advancement. I might even start to enjoy this consumerism malarkey.
Yay new experiences yay.