‘I’m awake’. He blurts out, to no none in particular. It should be noted that he was not, under normal circumstances, inclined towards bouts of soliloquy. He was also not completely convinced that his opening statement was entirely accurate…. you know, when viewed in absolutes.
Joey is still waiting for the coffee to form the first frail earthworks against the circadian rhythm that seems intent on wanting to de-platform him today. To the ramparts and fight my little caffeine molecules! Once more into the breach! (I feel they are becoming immune… or at least developing some form of reticence to my rousing speeches)
Although to be fair, perhaps I’m expecting too much. It feels like one of those days where I need to run one of those plastic aquarium hoses from the percolator, down the stairs, across the office, and directly into to my abdominal caffeine port… that I’m going to have installed. (in the meantime I’ll just tuck it in behind my eyeball, where it will, hopefully, through osmosis saturate the spongy grey stuff to a point of sufficiency and general well being)
This is the first bit of cyborgery that actually makes sense to me. Given the choice between a Near-field-communication chip in my wrist bone and a direct infusion apparatus… hmm… weirdly cyborgery is not underlined in red. Oh wait… there we go. Bit of lag going on there.
I had to take the Swine-mungus to the Vet this morning, straight after the school-run. We needed to be actively encouraged to get out of the house on time, and so I didn’t have time to medicate myself with the Black Stuff before. I snap a selfie of us, he seems quite cheerful, despite knowing where he is.
Don’t worry he’s fine. I mean as fine as you can be after getting a finger up the rectum. The basset hound I mean. No one has put a finger up my rectum in quite some time. I should also be fine. Just need to defrag my metaphorical hard-drive and I’ll be back to my normal cheerful self. Quick carbs are already in hand to aid the process.
Please stand by.
Go Darke 