Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Wisdom of the aged

Looking back on forty years of existence I have learned… eh… learnt… (shit)… realized a couple of things. (this wisdom will now be dispensed in point form forthwith)

  1. Don’t chop up chilies and then go down on your wife (or probably anyone for that matter)
  2. Heel cream is NOT toothpaste, even when enclosed in similar packaging with similar viscosity
  3. If it tastes funny, stop brushing.
  4. Your child vomiting on you is less onerous than your date vomiting on you. (which is very onerous… especially if you’re both naked)
  5. Operating on yourself with a pair of nail scissors may not lead to optimum results
  6. And also infection.
  7. And finally… your co-workers may be smarter than you give them credit for…
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(This decoy didn’t work. Or rather, didn’t work for as long as I had intended)