Go Darke

In an endeavor that would spark joy with the adherents of Marie Kondo I’ve been cleaning out my ‘office’ area. It’s already relatively spartan, I am not naturally a hoarder (at least this is what I tell myself). In any event, part of this weekend project was a flash-drive/SD card purge… a virtual cornucopia of digitalism that I’d been stockpiling in a tin (for… whatever reason).

One of these, as it turns out, was not homemade pornography (god, where did that all go?)… but rather a folder of sentimental trifles from 2008. A collection of Livejournal (yeah kids before your time I know) entries saved as word documents (made for REALLY cringeworthy reading… and some Google chat logs… one of which made me laugh out loud.

My girlfriend (at the time), Mia, telling me exactly what she thought (of me)

Mia: yeah
i have a mans personality
and you have a womans personality
you’re neat
i’m messy
you want a nest

Mia: i don’t give a shit
you’re all insecure
i’m an arrogant fuck

Jo: ha ha
Oh my god. You’re right! 
You are a man!

Mia: you eat right and take care of your body
i’m a slob

Mia: you cook gourmet meals

Mia: i cook mi goreng
in the microwave

Mia: i smoke and drink
you never use to smoke and drink

Jo: Like the James song?  ‘Messed around with Gender roles’.

Mia: AND
i go to sleep after sex
lolz
you read a book
and i go to sleep

Jo: Ha ha

Mia: read a book whilst watching me sleep and waiting to go again
cause i’m spent
bahahahaha

Jo: These are some pretty serious accusations.

Mia: AND
i listen to death metal
and you listen to christina and justin timberlake
AND
you use lotion
and i don’t

In my defense… and really I think there’s probably only one thing here I can legitimately take umbrage with… Mia classified anything that wasn’t Opeth and Suicide-Commando as ‘Christina and Justin Timberlake’. Otherwise… that’s probably relatively spot-on.

Maybe I should use this as my ‘About’ page?