In an endeavor that would spark joy with the adherents of Marie Kondo I’ve been cleaning out my desk drawer. Its already relatively spartan, I am not naturally a hoarder (at least this is what I tell myself). In any event, part of this weekend project was a flash-drive/SD card purge… a virtual cornucopia of digitalism that I’d been stockpiling in a tin.
One of these, as it turns out, was not homemade pornography… but rather a folder of sentimental trifles from 2008. A collection of Livejournal (yeah kids before your time I know) entries saved as word documents (made for REALLY cringeworthy reading… and some Google chat logs… one of which made me laugh out loud.
My girlfriend, Mia, telling me exactly what she thought (of me)
i have a mans personality
and you have a womans personality
you want a nest
Mia: i don’t give a shit
you’re all insecure
i’m an arrogant fuck
Jo: ha ha
Oh my god. You’re right!
You are a man!
Mia: you eat right and take care of your body
i’m a slob
Mia: you cook gourmet meals
Mia: i cook mi goreng
in the microwave
Mia: i smoke and drink
you never use to smoke and drink
Jo: Like the James song? ‘Messed around with Gender roles’.
i go to sleep after sex
you read a book
and i go to sleep
Jo: Ha ha
Mia: read a book whilst watching me sleep and waiting to go again
cause i’m spent
Jo: These are some pretty serious accusations.
i listen to death metal
and you listen to christina and justin timberlake
you use lotion
and i don’t
In my defense… and really I think there’s probably only one thing here I can legitimately take umbrage with… Mia classified anything that wasn’t Opeth and Suicide-Commando as ‘Christina and Justin Timberlake’. Otherwise… thats probably relatively spot-on.
Maybe I should use this as my ‘About’ page?