Go Darke

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it

Fundamental Joeyism

Penguins et al.

I’ve been strictly Paleo this week. Except for the half bag of meringues… and the ice-cream I bought from the man in the vintage VW van at the beach earlier. BUT other than those minor indiscretions I’ve been a paragon of clean eating with nary a complex carbohydrate entering the temple that is this… eh… well maybe its less of a temple and more like a Ziggarut… now that I think about it.

But lets not dwell on the architecture of the fuselage. The crux is that an attempt is being made to get back onto the straight and narrow, the virtuous path (from whence others can be judged for their wayward dietary deficiencies) has been… eh… sighted.

Its made me cranky AF. And I might shiv you if you came between me and a delicious seafood linguine right now. I mean I’d probably feel bad afterwards, helping you to apply pressure to your perforated abdomen. But only after I’d finished licking my plate.

We’re also out of coffee.

(this a reoccurring theme in my life I’ve realized… and obviously speaks to a serious character flaw and my inability to gouge my way out of the short term immediacy thing I’ve got going on)

Tomorrow I’m heading over the mountain to the big city… I have a list of essential items. Although its mostly hardware… things I need to complete my basement office project, new workshop project and the tortoise gate… insofar as I’m trying to build a gate to the back garden that will keep the German Shepherd contained (when we go out) but still allow the tortoises unrestricted access to lawn-grazing and general romping.

Speaking of which…

Saved this juvenile walking the German during the week sometime. He’d fallen into a storm-water… gully I suppose and was wedged in there on his back. Took him home, pondering how one might re-hydrate a tortoise… because I am budding Herpetologist now. But after ten minutes right side up in the shade he seemed to be fine and wandered off to go do… tortoise stuff. In any event, I am not a replicant. (which may be a little bit obscure for those not deeply versed in Blade Runner lore)

Also, is this not the most paleo-esque meal imaginable? Served with bone broth… because we are out of the black stuff.

Capsicum’d the hell out of my salmon and my scramble. It was pretty good. Although sooooooo much more effort than cereal from a cardboard box which is then drowned in the lactose of another mammal, to be accompanied by the herculean effort of pushing a button on the Nespresso machine. Also… *looking across at the skillet and other assorted paraphernalia used in the meals creation* so much more clean up. Washing the dishes in the worst.

I mean probably not worse that going hungry. Or sleeping in a corrugated iron shack. Or… being a school girl in Afghanistan. But you know… I still feel hard done by that there is a downside to consuming calories.

Also Afghanistan…. fffffffffffffffffffffffffff….uck. *rubs eyes*

Maybe they’ll get some thoughts and prayers from me later. *checks calendar* Squeeze them in between dropping the kids off at school and buying 18mm shutterply at Agri-mark. Which is like… I want to say its a hardware store… but it has more of rural farming feel to it. Its has a huge irrigation section for example. I’m cutting out shelves today for my prepper-esque food storage… which is actually less about being a prepper and more about the notion that if I buy a metric-fuck-tonne of food I won’t run out of coffee (for example) every other day.

In other news.

Yesterday we went three bays over. Eh… to the right. If you’re facing Antarctica. Its probably only 20km as the crow flies… but maybe a 50km trip if you hug the coast line.

The metropolis of Betty’s Bay… who I don’t even think have a Petrol station. Its also has the dubious reputation (in my mind at least) as the locale where my cousins kid got bitten by a Bergadder, a relatively small, stubby neurotoxic viper endemic to the region. Anyways. It really messed him up… and has made me super weary about where I plant my paws when tromping off the beaten path.

They also have penguins though. Which occupy a section of geography here called Stony Point, an old whaling station.

And penguins are kinda cool.

They do penguin-y things. Like, hide under your car…

… and eh… if you’re in the DC universe, potentially become an arch villain for your foremost character. Although some might argue that Superman (and not Batman) is DC’s premier persona. Those people should not be taken seriously though. *rolls eyes*

My shoulder is feeling better. Still not 100%… but half a blister of muscle relaxants seems to have done the trick and un-inflamed whatever was not kosher in my scapula and humerus. Drugs for the win!

Anyways, its time for pants.

Which I feel is key when starting your day. Onwards and upwards.



  1. crustytuna


    So much in this post I can’t even respond to it all, but stream of consciousness is always the most fun. I enjoy penguins-under-car-sign. Ffff..uck indeed for the sufferings overseas. Wait, you live on a spectacular speck across the ocean? and your breakfast looks delicious, but yeah, I’d need a personal chef and housemaid to be eating like that on the regular, good on you. YAY shoulder recovery!

    1. Jo


      I do live on a speck. Like the who’s of whoville. Hmm. Although I don’t think I’m allowed to reference the good Doctor anymore, cause he a racist son of biscuit.

      Yesterday I decided my shoulder was all better and did some heavy lifting again… and it’s tweaked itself again… woke up 3am … okay technically the baboons screaming at each other on the mountain woke me up… but then I couldn’t fall asleep again because me shoulder was throbbing. So scratch everything I said about being hale and healthy once more.


      I don’t think think you need to eat healthy… you burn like a million calories a day on your bike.

      I went to the trek shop in town yesterday… damn they had some nice stuff. May have lingered a little too long in front of an MTB e bike with fat tires and a sexy disposition. Of course then I saw the price and I was… eh… less well disposed.

      I’d be weary of taking an Ebike on a trail though… it’s quite heavy… and… feels wrong somehow… but going into town to get groceries… that feels like it might be cool.

      Spent all my money on two Thule wall
      Mounts so I can hang my bikes. I want to be cool like tuna.

      1. crustytuna


        😂 Little hooks screwed into a slat wall is cheaper than Thule mounts… Because what happens when you buy more than 2 bikes?? Oohhhh. Ebike.. Think of the access! I’ve never ridden one downhill before but I’d imagine their weight and maneuverability would take some getting used to. Also, grocery transport is a bonus.
        Boo for the shoulder re-injury. Healing vibes being sent your way.. Again…

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